Jan 27th

Sleep.

Has intermittently been the bane of my nighttime parenting.

I was blessed with a child who fights sleep (much like her mother actually, far too much excitement going on to sleep!).

A 45 minute wonder from dot.

Now, I say blessed, because there is one personality attribute that I completely missed out on when they were handing them out - and that's patience.  And if there is one thing my darling child has forced me (kicking and screaming) into developing, it's patience.  And children are our greatest teachers, are they not?  Right.  

So yes, I am choosing to consider myself blessed for the lesson in patience.  Cos, in all honesty, if I didn't consider it a blessing, I'd be lamenting my curse!  And that's just not constructive to anyone or anything, now is it?

 Of course, I haven't always been this zen-cum-holier-than-thou with my attitude towards her sleep patterns.  Oh no.  I have done my fair share of whinging, whining, shouting, crying, raging, reasoning, negotiating and more whinging and whining (the whinging and whining mostly to the other parent in the conundrum).  And it never got me anywhere.  Other than more frustrated as I perpetuated my star role in the victimhood play I was conducting (woe is me, boo hoo, how sad, yadda yadda).

To trot out another cliche, there is a lot to be said for time and experience.

The inexperienced, petulant child in me used to get her knickers in a knot and often contribute even more angst to the situation.  Yep, that's gonna help with sleep!  On ya!

Whereas the me of now, developed a new technique several months ago and it works marvelously!

It's topical, because I had to pull it out of my parenting tool kit tonight.

Nighttime routine as follows:

Dinner, drink, last play.

Toilet, teeth.

Story and songs.

Snuggle and sleep.

Except when it doesn't go to plan.

"I'm not tired" "I'm thirsty" "I'm hungry".

So I employ the "okay, I need to go have my dinner now.  I would like for you to relax in bed and let sleep come.  I will check on you soon".

10 minutes later... (you know what's coming, don't you?) pitter patter of little feet.

"Back to bed please.  I will be in there soon"

Now the me of old used to lose it.  Stern voice, frowny face, short, sharp words.

But this is how I deal with it now.

2 minutes later I enter her room, snuggle up beside her and start tickling the beejezus out of her.

"So I see I'm going to have to tickle you to sleep, am I?"

"Are you asleep yet?  What about now?  What about now?"

The oxytocin hormones that flow through both our bodies is delicious.

She gets knackered from laughing and fending me off.

She is awash in hormones of love and says things like "I love you so much, I could crack!" (She actually said this to me tonight! *laugh*)

And I scoop my little bundle of gorgeous goodness into my body and sing her softly to sleep.  Which takes all of about 2 minutes. *smile*

(adding the pic again, cos it's so damn gorgeous!)

So, with time and experience comes the opportunity to reframe a situation, yes?

And for that gift, I am truly grateful.

____________________________________

In other news today, I received a poem from a complete stranger.

Which utterly delighted me!

A new recruit in the workplace sat with me for 90 minutes of on-phone time today, for call training purposes.  At the end of the session, she handed me a piece of paper containing this:

Hope and kindness shining bright
With understanding and patience plenty
Never seems to be surprised when
Help is sought and given freely.

(to be replaced with a pic of the actual poem to come)

A simple, but powerful gesture indicating an appreciation of my work that she witnessed.

Wow.  Just wow. *smile*

Jan 26th

Australia Day.

This day represents such incredibly opposing things, depending on when you chose to call this country home.  I'm a ring in.  I've called this country home for 11 years now, a citizen for almost eight of those.  I come from a country that also has a violent and manipulative invasion within its history books.  And even though I call that country my homeland, only one half of my bloodline was indigenous.  Meaning the other half is descended from invaders and legalized thieves.

The NZ Maori managed to maintain a lot of their heritage to the present day.  Te Reo is taught in schools, spoken on the streets, and showcases of the culture is a multi-billion dollar tourism industry for NZ.

The same cannot be said for indigenous Australians.  

For them, this day is not about celebrating being Australian.  This day marks the beginning of decades of abuse, violence, death and destruction - of land, homes, family and culture.

So, today holds mixed feelings for me.

Heartache for the people and culture, subjected to so much devastation, still holding on amidst struggle after struggle.  

And gratitude.  To live in a country as beautiful, as opportunistic, as free as Australia is for an educated, white, female immigrant like me.

So what did I do today?

I sat on the sofa - all day - with my British immigrant beloved, drinking wine and watching movies.

Celebrating downtime together.

Celebrating freedom of rights in the country we feel blessed to live in.

Celebrating fine wine and gluten-free pizza.

We broke raw today in outrageous fashion!  Buckwheat pancakes with beans and eggs.

 Drank copious bottles of alcohol.

 Then cleansed our palate later in the evening with strawberry mango sorbet.

 So while I personally don't consider *this* day as a day to celebrate due to the history of bloodshed, I did choose to pay gratuitous thanks to find myself healthy, happy and free in this wide brown land called home.

(PS, apol for the late post.  I couldn't remember my password *blush*)

Jan 25th

Blessed friendships.

Worth more than all the money in the world.

Someone once told me that a true representation of the kind of person you are, is reflected in the type of people who choose to share their lives with you.

In other words, if you want to know what kind of person you are - take a look at the people around you.

This absolutely resonates with my philosophy of like attracts like.

If you are kind, you will attract kindness.

If you choose not to judge, you will attract acceptance.

If you can see humour in life and in yourself, you will attract laughter in abundance.

Which brings me to my friend Georgia.

Five minutes in this woman's company and my laughter is filling the room like liquid sunshine, indicative of the energy she brings with her, wherever she travels.

I have known Georgia almost four years now.  We met while our babes were still in our arms and at our breasts, through our local ABA meet.  Our friendship blossomed over the following years through a mutual passion for gentle parenting and a weekly meet to bask in all things Steiner.  These days, our catch ups tend to be more 'mama-focused' - grown up time, if you will *smile*.

One of the things I utterly adore about Georgia, is her spur of the moment, ready for anything attitude.

I often call her on my way home from work and request the pleasure of her company for dinner.  In all these years, she has only turned me down once! 
To care for her ill babe no less.

Tonight, Georgia once again, gave us the pleasure of her company for dinner.

The menu - raw, naturally.

Yes, it looks suspiciously like our last dinner party (our repertoire of raw could do with a little investment of time and creativity - but hey!  If it ain't broke...!).

I am discovery the pure joy of preparing a meal with love, for loved ones.

I am discovering that that meal does not need to be a five course performance, a la Stephanie Whatshername, in order to satisfy the senses. (What was that book?  Like water for chocolate?)

No.  Simple, vital, nutrient dense food shared with people that make your heart sing, amidst wonderful conversation truly is food to nourish the soul.

Thank you for your company tonight Georgia.

I'm counting the days until we can do it again. *smile*

Jan 24th

We went to the movies tonight.

I utterly ADORE going to the movies - especially to see shows like this!

The singing!  The dancing!  The costumes!

Divine entertainment for the soul.

I just love a show that has me enthralled to the point where my feet are tapping and my body is involuntarily following the movements of the performers.

Which reminds me.

I really do need to get back to yoga.

Watching the thoracic and lumbar spinal flexibility of the dancers, the lack of hamstring adhesions inhibiting full flexion, the cervical spinal side flexions and extensions!  Not to mention the incredible strength in the quadraceps and glutes with all those squats! *sigh*

My current place of body worship is still on holiday hours.  I walk in the door from work at 6.15pm, so their current hours do not work.  Feb 1st seems so long away!

So as I pulled myself heavily out of the movie theatre seat, sweeping popcorn from my lap, it felt like every bone in my body ached in the wanting of flexibility and strength.  It was a delightful reminder to be thankful that yes, while I *am able* to lift myself from my chair, there is always room for improvement.

Jan 23rd

A day to delight the senses!

Gustatory.

The remnants of breakfast at our favourite breakfast cafe.

Creative visualisation.

Lucy to an easel, paint and brush: moth to a flame *smile*

Tactile pleasure - for both parties!

The combined sensations of warmth and cool.

The water at 6pm was deliciously tepid.

Trust.

Exhilaration.

Appreciation of the exquisiteness of nature - in all its manifestations. 

Jan 22nd

This evening I was confronted with of those 'holy shit!' moments.

We had spent the day lounging around at home, writing, creating, playing.  We were feeling a little bit housebound, so I suggested a ritual of old - fncnb (fish n chips n bubbly) on the beach for dinner.

It seemed like a great idea at the time.

We'd been so *good* after all!  With our raw food intake, our abstinence from alcohol, semi-fasting.  We were feeling so incredible!  My (utterly insane in hindsight) mind was telling me, we deserved a *treat*.

Oh my.

See, that's the thing.  When you initiate a period of eating vital, simple, pesticide et al free, unprocessed foods, your body gets used to it (as with anything).  So then when you re-introduce shite (like alcohol and processed, refined, hydrogenated, deep fried *food*), your body goes into full on two-year-tantrum mode!  "I don't want this!  Get it away from me! Yuuuuuck!  Arghhhhhhh!!!"

As did mine this evening.

It has been a reeeeeally long time since food has prompted me to hurl.  And remember, I ate most of an oyster a month or so ago.  So, 10 seconds after walking in the door, the porcelain bus and I became reacquainted.  Not fun.  Although I felt immensely better afterwards.

But the truly mad thing is.  I have always felt like shite after eating shite (admittedly, never to the point of throwing up before now).  So why, oh why, do I continue to think it's a good idea?  That I'm *rewarding* myself by shoveling this stuff into my body?  Beats me *shrug*.  *sigh*.

I liken myself to the Queen Mary (no, not the Princess people - the ship.)

Lucy's dad introduced me to this analogy.  A huge cruise liner takes a while to slow down.  A while to turn around and a while to get back up to speed in the new direction.

So, I'm seeing myself in the turning around phase.  I just have to keep the pirates trying to gain access intermittently, at bay while I'm currently stationary.

Send me your thoughts of love and encouragement *smile*.

In other non-toilet related news, a few pics from our beach romp this evening.  

Contrary to previously held beliefs, this body *does* run *smile*.

  I hope you and your loved ones are enjoying the sunshine too *smile*

Happy Weekend to you xx

Jan 21st

Tonight, I attended my first ever surprise party!  

 The invitation read this: 

"Sarah does so much for all her friends and is always willing to help out anyone who needs it, she is kind and generous and we believe her birthday should be celebrated with her by those she treasures most, and that means YOU!! We hope you can make it!" 

I couldn't have agreed more *smile*

 Leesa, our incredible hostess for the evening, presented Sarah with this fantastic cake, crafted with her hands and heart.

(pic courtesy of Sazz)

We had such a lovely night.  

Thank you Leesa for organising, coordinating and hosting.

Thank you fabulous community for the coming together to enjoy each others company.

And thank you Sarah for the wonderful excuse to gather and eat cake *smile*

Happy, happy birthday sweet woman.

I wish you a year of lovin', laughter and lots of dreamin' come true xx

Jan 20th

I love to watch an artist at work.

In my eyes, an artist is a creator passionate about his craft.

I especially love it when that artist happens to be particularly delicious to my eyes.

And not only that, that the artist is working on a piece of art, catering to my very specifications is also very appealing!

 Very exciting things are afoot.  

Start date of my information website focusing on fertility and nutrition, being up and running again is getting closer and closer.  Yes, very exciting indeed.

Although one member of the household remains cool, calm and collected amongst the chaos and the excitement.  I have much to learn from this collective soul and her kind.

Jan 19th

My day today was filled with sprinklings of wonderful.

Commencing with an 8am breakfast date.

Breakfast is one of my most favourite meals of the day.  So when a friend offers me the pleasure of her company over breakfast - that's my kinda magical start to the day!

 The walk to an afternoon lunch date with my beloved revealed the playful pastime of two young men.  I've stood and watched them practice their acrobatics on a day prior to today and they delight me every time!  Proof positive that joy can and does exist, even within a Frankston teenage boy or two *smile*

Wandering home, pondering the intentions I planned to commit to under the full moon energy tonight, I was reminded that obstacles still do exist in even the clearest of paths.  The question is, how will I respond to them....

The full moon circle tonight with a collection of my sisterhood was, as always, powerful, joyful and inspiring.  As part of our ritual tonight, under the glow of our mother moon, we clearly defined to ourselves, our intentions for the upcoming year.  We banished with fire any limiting factors we could forsee.  Then committed our intent with ink to paper and one and all witnessed the intent of each woman, instantly reaffirming accountability.

The message that kept coming through for me, was downtime, reconnection with spirit, embracing the inner feminine and going easy on myself *smile* 
Very timely indeed.

I wish you all a potent full moon. 
May your every intention manifest for your highest possible good.

Bless.

Jan 18th

As I was riding home tonight, pillion with Ben, my imagination wandered, as it often does when I'm cruising at 80ks, marveling at my surroundings so amazingly close, feeling the wind whipping around me.  I began imagining a horrific accident.  

Our rear tyre being clipped by a driver too close, not seeing our brake lights, the bike flipping, our bodies being flung in the air towards the nature strip.  I envisioned my own wrapping itself around a light pole, before crumpling to the ground below.  I didn't see in my mind's eye what happened to Ben's body.  I only knew that he was dead.

As a very strong believer in the power of manifestation, I decided to promptly end that wee imaginary scenario, seeing as how we were still traveling along a six-lane highway in rush hour traffic, everyone eager to get home!  Instead what popped into my head was how grateful I was for preventative constructs I have in place.

The helmet on my head (which I LOVE! The colours! The swirls! *sigh*).
The kevlar sewn into my jeans.
The armour in my jacket.
The gloves on my hands.
The boots on my feet.

But not only that.

The income protection insurance we both have.
The total permanent disability insurance.
The trauma cover.
The life insurance.



In the event of the unthinkable, I know that financially,
at least for a while, I am taken care of.
Free from financial worries.  To grieve.  To heal.
To mother my child.  To mother myself.
Prevention is worth an ounce of cure I think the saying goes?
More like ten tonnes if you ask me *smile*

Jan 17th

Grateful.

For evenings of no plans,

of no commitments,

of no obligations.

Grateful.

For evenings perfectly free for each other,

for reconnection,

for laughter,

for lovin'.

(pre dated today, but added the next evening.  Cos I was, um, busy *smile*)