June 15th

A morning to get work done, before my button arrived at half twelve.

I succeeded at getting some actual planned work done - but so much fabulous time is spent reading comments and answering queries, checking new pages and sharing links.  I love it!

252 people at last count tonight.

Okay, I will stop posting that soon, I promise.  It's still so full of novelty value and I'm still more than a little overwhelmed at the efficiency of viral communication.

We started to prepare for our blessing tonight, on the beach - only to realise the full moon is tomorrow.  I have no idea what I was thinking.  Lucy loved my henna and wanted some for herself (bless!), so I decorated her hands too.  

And here's mine, three days later.  Still looking ace!

Photo credit to Lucy :oD

More work tonight, another question answered on the page and a personal email to the Apples and Ovaries address, seeking a personal consult.  I knew in my heart that this information was hungered for, but I guess I didn't know just how much.  There is much to do and much to share.  It feels humungous but I'm staunchly and eagerly up for the challenge (with a tiny dose of eep! mixed in).

I came across this today and I want to share it with you.

What you love, you empower

and what you fear, you empower.

And what you empower, you attract.

- Author unknown

Oh - and a few following will know I have been waiting on a special, timely arrival, prior to my full moon blessing.  It arrived tonight, just in time *smile*.

Good night my gorgeous readers.

June 14th

I went to bed last night with a 'like' count on the new page at 70.

I woke up with a 'like' count of 95.

Just on going to bed tonight, the count was at 202.

Oh.  My.  Goodness!

And the responses and feedback - both on the wall and via *Ask A Question* have been so beautiful, so supportive, so encouraging, so heartwarming!  The feeling of having manifested something for so long, to see it come to life and literally grow before your very eyes - is profound.  I can barely believe it's real.  Apart from the fact that I spent all of today, sitting around a computer screen, interacting with a brand new world, keeping up with comments and posts and questions as fast as I could...!

By five pm, I needed to stretch.  I picked Ben up from the station and raced to yoga.

Which ended up being mostly a waste of time!  He hadn't eaten in six hours, so almost passed out in a backwards bend.  And for some reason, my balance was all out and dizziness struck me 20 minutes in, every time I stood up.  We both spent the majority of the class in savasna!  Oh well, we were warm at least.  We both came right once we were out of the heat.

Then it was a quick (which turned into a not-so-quick) check on the A&O page and checking some technical requirements with Ben, then off to craft with my women.

I got to hold a squishy babe for the first 20 minutes or so, finished the row I was knitting, then realised I'd left the pattern at home.  Planning fail.  *sigh*

Once I stopped for five minutes, I realised I was completely knackered.  It was nice to just sit for a bit and join in the fabulous natter, without having busy hands.

Many things to be grateful for today - the love and support of community and the ease at which that love is shared and spread.  And of course, an all time favourite - the opportunity to share the ramblings that take up so much space in my head *smile*.

A glorious day and a sumptuous evening.

Now, time for bed *yawn*

June 13th

Well, tonight at 9pm, I launched the Facebook page for the new business!

I had crazy, serious butterflies!  Which felt quite ridiculous, actually!  It was the feeling I get before I'm about to walk out on stage, as the centre of attention to speak.  In my cyberworld, I guess it was much the same - my heart and soul out on display equally for praise and ridicule.  It also equals the beginning of this new phase in my professional life.  Which is incredibly exciting and scary as all hell - all at the same time.  I take what I do so seriously and at the same time, I like to keep talk of vulvas, penises, sperm and mucus as fun and lighthearted as possible!

When you create a fb page, once you have 25 'likers', you can register a unique URL.  In other words, you can have www.facebook.com/yourbusinessname.  Very handy for search results.  After (nervously, but excitedly) making the page public, I announced the presence of the page via my personal account and asked for 25 likers in order to claim the URL.  In less than 15 minutes, my count was 26.  I was floored!

I am so utterly grateful for the love and support of my online community.  Many are my geographically local village, but a fair collection are Australia and NZ wide.  The comments started pouring in about loving the space, the logo graphic, the name.  I couldn't stop grinning.  I was so overwhelmed and so humbled by the lovin'.  

At latest page count, the likers number 64 - one hour since the launch.

I would love to get to 100 by the end of the week :oD.

Tomorrow is a day of work.  A day of posting questions asked by recent clients, followed by my response (and hopefully some participation!).

But for now, may I introduce to you, 

Apples and Ovaries

*smile*

June 12th

A special day indeed.

This coming full moon holds special significance for me.  I am conducting a personal celebration, just Lucy and me in attendance.  There will be candles and incense.  There will be ocean and earth.  There will be a very special dish containing more than 30 beads and a box containing more than 20 individual squares of fabric gifted to me.  Each bead and cloth representing the energetic presence of a collection of very special women in my life, that mean so very much to me. 

And today, in personal preparation, I wanted my body stained with henna in the spirit of invoking Barakah, as believed in ancient Islamic mysticism.  No, I'm not Islamic.  But I adore the origin of the purpose of henna.  Henna is considered to have Barakah - blesssings - and is used extensively for weddings and fertility rites, applied for luck and joy as well as beauty.  Barakah is the beneficent force from God that flows through the physical and spiritual spheres as prosperity, protection, and happiness.  Baraka is not a state, it is a flow of blessings and grace.

My full moon celebration is one of moving forward, of refocusing my energies from inwards to outwards.  Of manifesting creativity and abundance through fertility of concepts and ideas.  This full moon is also the closest to our southern hemisphere winter solstice.  A time of letting go of that which no longer serves.  Of relinquishing old habits and patterns.  Of clearing out the coffers and making way for the new.  A time for renewal.

So, I called on a friend.

A very talented friend.  Who generously agreed to meet me for a picnic in the sun to bless me with her artistic skill.  After our feasting was done, as her partner and children played around us, with the warming winter sun shinning low in the sky, we commenced an age old ritual of blessing.

And in three days time, the ritual that was begun today, will be complete and a new phase in my life will begin.  A very monumental time for me.   Monumental indeed.

June 11th

There's a very good biological reason that human babies are completely defenseless when they're born, where other less developed mammals are not.  It takes months for a human baby to learn to move unassisted and years before they can undertake risk analysis to even acknowledge a potential danger, let alone remove themselves away from that danger.  And years before they can work out the answer to a problem.

In the time that passes between birth and problem analysis and solving, a hell of a lot of growth occurs - particularly to the brain, thus increasing the size of the head.  Herein lies the reason human babies are born completely dependent.  They need to be born at that time.  Any longer in utero and their heads just wouldn't fit through the maternal pelvis.

Today I encountered a practical example of how the human brain has evolved over time.  Just how clever we have become.  This is anecdotal mind you.  I have no way of knowing if prehistoric woman would have been able to put together our trampoline in three attempts or less.  Or if it would have taken her more.  But I know that after doing it methodically, spring, by orderly spring, we realised it was becoming harder and harder to stretch the circular mat to the edges and something had to give (LOVE those puns *grin*).

So we tried a second technique of doing opposite directions first and hooking the springs in between a couple at a time.  And this worked brilliantly, while still working up a few blisters due to spring stretching.  We had them all on, then realised that the net uprights needed to line up with the legs of the frame, in order to fasten the supporting poles.  So, with slightly heavy hearts, we unhooked every spring, swung the net around and started again.

Third time around, we found that using an additional spring to stretch the spring fastened to the mat, was making the task to hook said spring into the frame, so much easier.  BRILLIANCE!  We were on our way to erecting the net's supporting poles, when we noticed that the shadow the net was casting into the house was just not okay.  Was the net necessary?  Enter lengthy discussion on merits of presenting situations that encourage risk analysis, self monitoring and awareness.  Were today's children too sheltered?  Too protected?  Was it our responsibility as parents to encourage scenarios that teach of cause and effect?  I kinda think so.  So with a mere minimum of two benefits at the outcome, the net came off. 

I'm grateful for the use of my brain today.

Oh, and the use of my legs!

*squeeeeeeeeeee*

June 10th

When you get an envelope in the post that looks like this:

Your first reaction is usually of the sympathetic nervous system variety.

Eep!

Now, I'm one of those kinds of people that rips that baby open as fast as humanly possible, to see what trouble I've gotten myself into, without realising.  As opposed to the other type of person, that hides the envelope and its contents from themselves for as long as possible, fretting and fussing and scenario-conjuring and all the other typical ulcer-manifesting behaviours that accompany contemplating the terrifying unknown.

And guess what I found?!

THIS!

*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

No!  I wasn't expecting it!  Hence my shock at identifying the envelope!  Ben registered the new business name for me and, well, it was unbelievably fast in arriving!

Wait - I didn't tell you about the new business name?

Ohhhhhhhhh.  WELL!

(I can't believe I haven't told you about this, yet!)

You'll recall a few days ago, my lament about dragging my feet regarding the business.  I couldn't quite work out what it was that was causing the boredom.  And to be honest, I still don't know as I still haven't given myself the quiet time I need to contemplate and see what is revealed.

But somewhere in the last couple of days, I decided to just bite the bullet and start a Facebook page dedicated to the business.  Kind of like a precursor to the website, once it's built and operational.  I want somewhere to start sharing information, even without generating revenue.  Because that is essentially the reason I do what I do - is to share and hope that is then shared and shared again.  And a Facebook page is simple to create and provides almost instant access to trillions of people that may want what I've got available.

So, it was decided.  I needed a new identity.  Every other name I had come up with in the past, was relatively descriptive (cos, honestly, how do you find one name that encompasses both nutritional and fertility health?  Nigh on impossible), but so BORING!  So I enlisted the help of a very talented wordsmith, who also, quite conveniently happens to be a wonderful friend.  Her very first response to me was "_________ & _________".  

Immediately I LOVED IT!  It was quirky, funny, a play on a phrase and best of all - so applicable to both fertility and nutrition! Look (or think, even!) no further.  We have a winner.  The woman is a genius (thanks again, Sazz ;o). The domain name was available.  But after mentioning the name to Ben, wasn't available for very long *grin*.  I was on such a high.

The creation of the page was underway - then I hit a snag.  In order for the page to work, 'likers' needed to be able to send me a personal message.  Default Facebook settings don't allow you to do that.  Enter my programming genius.  "I'll just write one for you".  *jaw-drop* *heart-pound* *melt*

So, info is being added to the not-yet-published Facebook page.  Once the button is operational, the page will go live and the awesome business name will be revealed at the same time.  The website itself is still under construction and a lot of the content will be shared between both once the site is also live.  I think most businesses create a website first - then a fb page.  Unsurprisingly, I'm doing things all about face. 

Stay tuned :o)

June 9th

Yesterday was C's birthday and her mama asked her what she wanted to do to celebrate.

C decided she wanted to visit the zoo.

C's mama asked her if she wanted a special friend to come along.

C chose Lucy.

*melt*

So today, with the sunshine turned on and the wind turned down, our party of five bundled into the one car - pushchairs, picnic and all - and ventured into the city!  This was the first time I had visited during the cooler months - and gosh, what a difference the weather makes to the energy of the animals!  The lions were pacing and roaring, rather than snoozing under a tree.  The orangutans were swinging and playfighting.  Even the giant tortoise was moving about!  And the bear - wow s/he was amazing!

The seal and penguin enclosure was new to me.  It was wonderful to watch the seals swimming at eye level.  Such curious creatures - swimming down to see what we were all about.  Although it was a tiny bit disconcerting to wander in near pitch blackness with two small charges.

The baby elephants were a highlight as was the butterfly enclosure.  I incidentally picked up a tip - if you want a great photo op with butterflies on your shoulder, wear leaf green :o).  It reminded us of a book Lucy and I are thoroughly enjoying together at the moment.

Jane O'Connor's Bonjour, Butterfly, in the Fancy Nancy series.  The illustrations are just beautiful, but the aspect of the book I love the most, is the use of words like iridescent and gorgeous and furious.  Words that broaden and challenge my four year old's vocabulary, rather than just assuming she won't be able to understand or grasp more complex words.  Children's book WIN.

After five and a half hours exploring the zoo, the mamas were ready to go home (the children needed a little more coaxing).  It was such a pleasurable day and I was both amazed and delighted at how joyful the kidlets remained throughout the day - including the 50 minute drive home in rush hour traffic.

Thank you Nat, C and E for the utmost pleasure of your company today :oD.

And thank you so much for inviting us to share in such a special celebration in your family.  We felt very honoured and very blessed.

xxx

June 8th

I received some ultimately wonderful news today.

I say ultimately, because initially it seems crazy ironic.  Lucy's dad has suggested I become majority carer next year, for when Lucy starts school.  One of the (many) reasons I'm not a fan of Lucy entering the schooling system, is the time pressure.  At the age of five, I don't think it's a healthy thing to get her up to an alarm, coax a suitable amount of protein and carbohydrates into her body, rush to dress, rush to groom, rush out the door - all within a 2 hour time period, then sit in traffic for 20 minutes in order for me to deliver her to the institution I have painstakingly chosen for her, that I believe will damage her least.

One of the other things I dislike about the schooling structure is the systematic setting of homework.  Yep, even at five.  At five, it's reading the book she's chosen from the library.  Never mind the idea that at five, she may not be ready to read.  Never mind that the regular daily practice of sitting down together to read a book that she may not be able to grasp, may set up all sorts of failure mindsets in my already self-flagellating child.  *sigh*

So, yes.  The irony that I will now be the person dancing this school dance that I don't want her to be a part of, is not lost on me.  But I did say 'ultimately'.  Because having Lucy during the week will be wonderful.  I will be a part of her daily life (despite the fact that it will be school focused) and I love that.  

I am trying really hard not to concern myself with the fact that my time with her during the week, when she's not at school and not preparing for school, or debriefing from school, not eating dinner, preparing for bed or sleeping, is not what I would consider a great amount of quality time.  I'm trying hard not to feel ripped off by the two full uninterrupted weekend days of quality time that her father will have with her.  I'm trying reeeeeeally hard.  I'm sure by January, I'll have a handle on it.  Somewhat.

In other news, we seem to have narrowed down our schooling search to two schools.  Which makes the task a little less intimidating.  One of the schools we are looking at shares the International Baccalaureate style of learning.  I'm still learning more about it, but I like what I've read so far.  The aspect that particularly sits well, is the awareness the children receive at a global level.  In IB's words: "... help (students) develop the intellectual, personal, emotional and social skills to live, learn and work in a rapidly globalizing world."  It is essentially, an international education.  Which I gather means, if Lucy decides she wants to study university in Paris (this school has French as their LOTE), her high school qualifications through IB will grant her access, grades dependent, naturally.

Contrastingly, the other school we are considering, is totally community focused.  They have farm animals and vegie garden the children tend.  There is a fully implemented recycling program - from plastic buckets in all the classrooms for food scraps to feed the goat and chickens - to solar panels and water tanks.  The question is, which suits our child best.  How on earth do you know that at five?  My first instinct is the community school.  Vegie gardens and recycling are the closest things I have to a religion.  She is animal mad and would flourish in this school.  As far as future prospects go and a learning style I resonate with, the international school wins hands down.

I am thinking, after cathartically purging just now, that we can do the vegie garden and chook thing at home.  We've done it in the past... if I'm a stay at home mama next year, it's absolutely feasible that I can do it all again....  Hmmmmm...

Sew (sorry!!), we were in the paper yesterday.  Not buried on the back page and the pic of menstrual pads was included - so that's a win in my opinion!  Great exposure for Sheree and LifeOptions.  I hope it stimulates some more donations.

And just some final melting moments from the kitties today :o)

I hope they always sleep like this.  I love how close they are.  The energy is so harmonious in the house.  Such gorgeous wee fluff balls.

June 7th

A day of joyous company, delighting the senses and relieved completion.

Have I mentioned my most recent yarn creation project I'm planning?

Rainbow bunting.

How divine is this?!

So today, in the company of a gorgeous woman, I was led to a yarn colour explosion - and I went a little delirious.  This is what I came home with.

Ben wants to create with me :o).  We are planning to string it up down the hallway.  So much colour, such delight!

Then tonight, I completed A's blanket.  The actual crocheting was completed weeks ago.  The weaving in of the ends though, that was haunting me.  So, tonight being craft night, I figured was a perfect opportunity to hold myself captive, with no where to go, nothing else to do... and stay until it was done.  Which, almost four hours later, it was.

*exhale*

And I had an awesome yoga class this afternoon!  So strong, so powered.  I felt energized at the end of final savasna - rather than needing five minutes to find the strength to pick myself up off the floor.  LOVE those kinds of sessions!

So, grateful for all kinds of things today.

Particularly, for re-entering joy mode.

*smile*

June 6th

I dreamed Lucy was killed last night.

Photo credit

The details are blurry now, but the feeling of devastation that I awoke with, stayed with me all day.  To the point that I had no desire to interact with the outside world.  The curtains remained closed, the room was forcibly filled with moving images and sound, anything to distract from the sorrow that just wouldn't shift.

On an intellectual level, I know dreams are not prophetic.  They are merely representative of something occurring at a subconscious level, symbolic rather than literal.  On an emotional level however, the heart does not rationalize.  It wasn't until much later, that I had the presence of mind to check dream interpretation.

Dreams of death themselves represent transition.

Transition from an awareness of the gross physical to the more spiritual self.  It signifies the unseen aspect of life; omniscience, spiritual rebirth; resurrection and reintegration.  Dreams of the death of a child can symbolize the feelings of innocence lost or may be expressions of waking life restrictions and limitations.  A child dying in a dream can symbolize losing something precious - a project, a goal, anything to which the dreamer has been especially devoted.

Which has got me thinking.  I have been wondering why I have been dragging my feet in regards to working on my website.  I had been telling myself it was because I was busy crafting, sewing et cetera for others in need.  But in all honesty, if I wanted to do the work, telly at night and crocheting hats for others would quite easily wait.

I was actually intending on spending today in thought regarding this exact thing.  But did not have the headspace for anything other than not thinking.  I have my suspicions, and I will take time to see if my suspicions have any footing.  This dream in itself has given me quite a strong message.

So, today I am grateful for messages sent from my subconscious.

Wake up calls, when plodding along with the status quo is no longer serving my highest good.

So, where to from here?

June 5th

Grateful for ticking a box on my 'to-do' manifesto 

(it's sooooo much more than just a list).

More than two and a half years ago, I added myself to a mailing list for the Travelers Amulet.  Since then, I have been lusting after the freedom, funds and timing to complete about three of the workshops Judy runs.

Today, I completed the first.

I created my very own Shamanic hoop drum.

And I was so completely stoked to share the experience with Ben :o).

The drums are used as healing tools and each drum taps into the medicine of its personal animal totem.  Through me, my drum called to the Lynx today.  Learning about the healing totem of the Lynx was both astonishing and reassuring.  Astonishing due to the accuracy of my apparent attraction and reassuring that, in spite of my best efforts from the age of nine, it's not something that I can run from or chose not to embody.  It is here to stay (whether I choose to embrace it, or not).

Workshops like these are magic for the soul.

So nourishing, so enriching.

The best way to spend a Sunday - I absolutely, highly recommend.

What was that, you say?  Tell you more?

Ah, that's the thing with the Lynx you see...

She is the keeper of lost magic.  The guardian of secrets.

You'll just have to experience it for yourself...

(Kittens in the pic, L to R were Matilda and Jasper :o)

June 4th

Grateful for the ability to help out furry friends in need.

Rufus is a Cornish Rex.

His family are going away for the long weekend next week and he is looking for some company in their absence... and someone to make sure is food bowl stays well stocked and his litter tray less so.

So, he came around to meet the kittens today, just to check for any personality clashes, prior to moving in next weekend.

This isn't Rufus, but it's the best pic I could find of his breed.

I'm not sure if you've ever met a Cornish Rex, but Rufus is a magnificent specimen.  I could stroke his fur all day... like silky soft ripples of velvet.  He's about three times the size of the kittens and about twice the size of MooMoo.  While MooMoo disappeared as soon as Rufus arrived (bless her white socks, she's had a hell of a week of new faces), the kittens came up to say hello and remained curious, despite Rufus hissing out his personal space boundaries.

He disappeared a couple of times and we found him atop a table, basking in the sun at the other end of the house, while his mistress was sipping coffee with us.  It appears separation anxiety won't be an issue.  And if he's comfortable up that end of the house, that pretty much has our three allocations of felines sorted for territory.

In other feline related news, MooMoo is now up to the point of nose touching with the kittens!!  There is still hissing on Moo's part (installation of hierarchy I imagine), but much less frequently.  And she's even comfortable enough to sleep in the same room, while they gallivant about the place.  Which they do.  Often.  Well, when they're not sleeping.  And they seem to be on synchronized schedules with each other.  It's quite amazing.  And it's all go, go, go - then all stop and fall in a heap.  There is no energy 'in between'.  A snap shot of cuteness from today, if you will.

Can you tell who's who, yet?

(Answers tomorrow :oD)

June 3rd

Today played very much like the record of my life of late.

Visits from treasured friends, cooking with a passion and love, crafting for loved ones, snuggling with my girl and smooching adorable balls of fluff.

 My current WIP for Candice and Alleira

I seemed to have lovingly passed my virus along to Ben.  I find it quite amazing how the other tends to fall ill just as the first turns a corner on the mend.  Perfectly harmonized in order for one to care for the other.  While inconvenient and slightly annoying, convalescing for a day or two in order to battle a virus, gives the immune system a work out.  I tend to get about one a year.  Which, from what I've learned about the body, is about right.  Last thing you want is a fully functioning, robust immune system with time on its hands and nothing to combat.  That's when it tends to go looking for work and turns on itself in absence of anything foreign.

So, to help my body out, I like to spend a bit of time licking supermarket trolley handles and eating food I've dropped on the food court floor (leaving it longer than the magic fifteen second rule, naturally).  Okay, alright, I don't actually go that far, but you won't find any of that antibacterial detergent or hand sanitizer crapola in this house.  As I say, I like to give my body a bit of a work out :oD.

Hmmm.  So I guess that's my gratitude highlight for today!

Aside from all the usual things in my day I'm (humbly) grateful for (see second sentence) - I'm grateful for my body's ability to function so successfully, it lands me on my arse for two days straight and forces me to go-slow until it feels I'm once again, ready for action.

Go body!  You are the temple I fall on my knees to worship.

Many thanks :o)

June 2nd

Grateful that one phone call to one person can result in connection to thousands.

Today, a photographer from the Leader Newspaper (the local rag) came to my home, to meet Sheree and me and capture an image to accompany the story they are running, about the hundreds (yep, 210 in total now!) of cloth pads and underwear donated to LifeOptions Cambodia.

Gosh.

The story will also be run in a western suburb town of Melbourne (Essendon), as that is where Sheree resides.  Donna, the reporter, absolutely loved the work being done by Denise Love and team in Cambodia - as did Kim, the photographer.  The editor, we later learned, was not as keen on the idea of menstrual pads appearing in his paper and was making plans to bury it back page or thereabouts.  Our photographer grinned as she told us, it was most certainly making the front page *laugh*.  I offered up a menstrual pad for her to take back to her editor, as a goodwill gesture.  She thought that was hilarious.  So a white pad with "sit still froggy" and a cartoon picture of a frog was chosen for him, and off it went *grin*.  Can't wait to hear what he thought of our offering.

So, I don't have a picture to show you (as I was in it).  But I will link back once it runs.

Before I sign off, today's melting moment.

The cute.  Oh, the cute!

June 1st

Grateful for those little things he does.

You know, those things that really can't wait til he gets home.

That he does, in spite of the fact it will make him late for work.

So grateful.  Thank you my love.

xxx

And for your viewing pleasure....

 Matilda "Tilly" Mae

 Lily and Jasper

 Goose with Lily

Furry snuggles

And finally, a very good reason why you spend the big bucks on cat furniture (other than the fact it should last as long as your cats do).

May 31st

Grateful for little balls of fluff, that bring so much joy.

Welcome home, Matilda, Lily and Jasper! :oD