Oct 10th

Knock knock.

Who's there?

No really, who's there?

Are you there?

Cos, I would LOVE to hear from you!

Yes, I am talking to you, my treasured reader.  This isn't a random, weird philosophical poem in the making *smile*.  A blog I frequent in intermittent stints (the way I usually catch up on blogs I love) posted recently about how she loves to hear the thoughts of the people who read her musings.  We blog owners are questionably blessed with access to statistics on who frequents our pages, when they read, where they are from, what search engine they use and what URL they came via.  Which means I know that April 8th had the most number of hits ever, at 96 page views with March 20 coming in second with 87 page views.  It also means that for the month of September there were 965 page views and curiously, only six of you commented *smile*.

Now I know one or two of my close friends will say "but I have nothing worth saying!"  May I let you in on a little secret - every single one of you interests me.  I WANT to hear whatever it is that you think or feel about what I post.  I'm not invested in your thoughts per se; what I mean is, my sense of self is not attached to what you comment or whether you comment at all - but I'm interested in you, in the people that find my musings interesting enough to come back a second time (or more).

None of your comments are published (read more here on why that is, in the event you missed February 12th's post), but I treasure every single one of them.  And they will be (anonymously) published in the book this blog will be turned into at the end of the 365 days.  So it would be wonderful to include more!  For posterity's sake. *laugh*

Even if you were to say "I was here".  That would be lovely.  I'd like that a lot.

Conversely, I found myself guilty of the same.  Reading without posting.  I blame time!  Which is a ridiculous excuse.  The particular blogger who prompted this post is a mama of three children, who facilitates the learning of her children at home, as well as runs a small business where she sews clothes, as well as moderates on a busy online forum.  And those are just the activities I know of!  And the time it takes me to read her musings and leave a loving comment is a fraction of the time it has taken her to snap images, upload, formulate and create a thoughtful post for my viewing and reading pleasure... so no-time is no longer an excuse I'm employing.

Online media is another way we disconnect with the world around us through not having to engage.  We can observe without having to interact.  But where's the quality in that?

I invite you.  Engage with me :o)

(And if you include an email address, I will email back!)

July 28th

Grateful that there are people in our world who think like this.  Grateful that there are people in our world who think outwardly enough to share these thoughts with those around them.  And grateful that I have the means to receive these thoughts and share them with my world.

I'm seeing demonstrations in my personal world at the moment, of power superseding love.  Of power being wielded in the form of exclusion, of manipulation, of untruths.  Of fear of consequences paralysing authenticity.  Of love being sacrificed to save face.

It's quite saddening.

But it is what it is.  People operate predominantly to maintain personal safety.  Despite actions that bought them to that place causing hurt.  Despite opportunities to right wrongs.  Despite the probability of unconditional understanding and grace on offer.  A person will more often than not, choose self-preservation and maintaining the semblance of integrity (even if they know it to be false), over admitting wrong doings and risking a fall.

To err is to be human.  To acknowledge error and take responsibility for consequences takes strength, courage, remorse and humility.  To seek to mend wrongs, to give love and be open to receive love demonstrates a heart that favours the power of love over the love of power.

Why do we find this so hard to do?

June 27th

Monday, work day.

I am so grateful to have two whole days to myself of uninterrupted time (I forgive the kittens their interruptions), to work on my business.  The time is spent posting links, anecdotes and answering one question a day on the facebook page, and consolidating, writing and updating white papers for the website.

Facebook is an incredible resource of information.

Yesterday, I learned more about the practice of cord blood harvesting, about fallacies told to women in pregnancy and labour of low amniotic fluid, and I learned about a fantastic upcoming 3 day workshop of Creative Ways of Making Space for Baby, run by two amazing birth workers.  I would not necessarily have come to know of these things, without this forum.

Not only that, Facebook has opened up a community of people with whom to share my information with.  Facilitated a supply and demand relationship between two parties that would never have otherwise met.  That's more than just a little bit awesome.

When I first met Ben, a more-anal-than-your-run-of-the-mill privacy freak, he was completely against the idea of sharing personal information on Facebook.  He had registered his name (with a fake birth date) so no one else could pretend to be him.  And that was it.  He has since softened a little on his previously held stand, perhaps intertwined with a fatalistic view of the inevitability of Facebook and weighing that up against the realities of potentially infinite networking possibilities.  (Or it could very well have been he wanted another way to stalk me on line in the early days *grin*.)  Whatever the case, he now uses the tool daily. 

But, I do still remember heeding his words of warning.  Whatever is posted on Facebook, stays in Facebook - and indeed in the greater cached internet for eternity.  There's no taking it back.  My thoughts during our discussions back then are much the same as they are today.

I could very well be hit by a bus when I leave my house tomorrow.  But that doesn't stop me walking to the beach.  I could very well be involved in a motor vehicle accident.  But that doesn't stop me driving to visit friends.  My child's photograph could be uploaded and used for abusive practices.  But the chances of that happening are more unlikely than the previous two examples (just enter 'child' into a Google images search result and see if you can find her before a million other images of children come up ;o).  And I don't want to eliminate an avenue for friends and family who live overseas, from feeling a little more involved in her life, just in case.

So in the same vein, I will let be what will be.  And manage any potentially terrible consequence if and when it happens, rather than live my life attempting to protect myself from something that may never eventuate.  And that includes Facebook.

So for today, the stand out gratitude kudos goes to Facebook.

For making my world a richer environment through enabling interaction with many a gorgeous soul.

June 15th

A morning to get work done, before my button arrived at half twelve.

I succeeded at getting some actual planned work done - but so much fabulous time is spent reading comments and answering queries, checking new pages and sharing links.  I love it!

252 people at last count tonight.

Okay, I will stop posting that soon, I promise.  It's still so full of novelty value and I'm still more than a little overwhelmed at the efficiency of viral communication.

We started to prepare for our blessing tonight, on the beach - only to realise the full moon is tomorrow.  I have no idea what I was thinking.  Lucy loved my henna and wanted some for herself (bless!), so I decorated her hands too.  

And here's mine, three days later.  Still looking ace!

Photo credit to Lucy :oD

More work tonight, another question answered on the page and a personal email to the Apples and Ovaries address, seeking a personal consult.  I knew in my heart that this information was hungered for, but I guess I didn't know just how much.  There is much to do and much to share.  It feels humungous but I'm staunchly and eagerly up for the challenge (with a tiny dose of eep! mixed in).

I came across this today and I want to share it with you.

What you love, you empower

and what you fear, you empower.

And what you empower, you attract.

- Author unknown

Oh - and a few following will know I have been waiting on a special, timely arrival, prior to my full moon blessing.  It arrived tonight, just in time *smile*.

Good night my gorgeous readers.

June 14th

I went to bed last night with a 'like' count on the new page at 70.

I woke up with a 'like' count of 95.

Just on going to bed tonight, the count was at 202.

Oh.  My.  Goodness!

And the responses and feedback - both on the wall and via *Ask A Question* have been so beautiful, so supportive, so encouraging, so heartwarming!  The feeling of having manifested something for so long, to see it come to life and literally grow before your very eyes - is profound.  I can barely believe it's real.  Apart from the fact that I spent all of today, sitting around a computer screen, interacting with a brand new world, keeping up with comments and posts and questions as fast as I could...!

By five pm, I needed to stretch.  I picked Ben up from the station and raced to yoga.

Which ended up being mostly a waste of time!  He hadn't eaten in six hours, so almost passed out in a backwards bend.  And for some reason, my balance was all out and dizziness struck me 20 minutes in, every time I stood up.  We both spent the majority of the class in savasna!  Oh well, we were warm at least.  We both came right once we were out of the heat.

Then it was a quick (which turned into a not-so-quick) check on the A&O page and checking some technical requirements with Ben, then off to craft with my women.

I got to hold a squishy babe for the first 20 minutes or so, finished the row I was knitting, then realised I'd left the pattern at home.  Planning fail.  *sigh*

Once I stopped for five minutes, I realised I was completely knackered.  It was nice to just sit for a bit and join in the fabulous natter, without having busy hands.

Many things to be grateful for today - the love and support of community and the ease at which that love is shared and spread.  And of course, an all time favourite - the opportunity to share the ramblings that take up so much space in my head *smile*.

A glorious day and a sumptuous evening.

Now, time for bed *yawn*

June 10th

When you get an envelope in the post that looks like this:

Your first reaction is usually of the sympathetic nervous system variety.

Eep!

Now, I'm one of those kinds of people that rips that baby open as fast as humanly possible, to see what trouble I've gotten myself into, without realising.  As opposed to the other type of person, that hides the envelope and its contents from themselves for as long as possible, fretting and fussing and scenario-conjuring and all the other typical ulcer-manifesting behaviours that accompany contemplating the terrifying unknown.

And guess what I found?!

THIS!

*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

No!  I wasn't expecting it!  Hence my shock at identifying the envelope!  Ben registered the new business name for me and, well, it was unbelievably fast in arriving!

Wait - I didn't tell you about the new business name?

Ohhhhhhhhh.  WELL!

(I can't believe I haven't told you about this, yet!)

You'll recall a few days ago, my lament about dragging my feet regarding the business.  I couldn't quite work out what it was that was causing the boredom.  And to be honest, I still don't know as I still haven't given myself the quiet time I need to contemplate and see what is revealed.

But somewhere in the last couple of days, I decided to just bite the bullet and start a Facebook page dedicated to the business.  Kind of like a precursor to the website, once it's built and operational.  I want somewhere to start sharing information, even without generating revenue.  Because that is essentially the reason I do what I do - is to share and hope that is then shared and shared again.  And a Facebook page is simple to create and provides almost instant access to trillions of people that may want what I've got available.

So, it was decided.  I needed a new identity.  Every other name I had come up with in the past, was relatively descriptive (cos, honestly, how do you find one name that encompasses both nutritional and fertility health?  Nigh on impossible), but so BORING!  So I enlisted the help of a very talented wordsmith, who also, quite conveniently happens to be a wonderful friend.  Her very first response to me was "_________ & _________".  

Immediately I LOVED IT!  It was quirky, funny, a play on a phrase and best of all - so applicable to both fertility and nutrition! Look (or think, even!) no further.  We have a winner.  The woman is a genius (thanks again, Sazz ;o). The domain name was available.  But after mentioning the name to Ben, wasn't available for very long *grin*.  I was on such a high.

The creation of the page was underway - then I hit a snag.  In order for the page to work, 'likers' needed to be able to send me a personal message.  Default Facebook settings don't allow you to do that.  Enter my programming genius.  "I'll just write one for you".  *jaw-drop* *heart-pound* *melt*

So, info is being added to the not-yet-published Facebook page.  Once the button is operational, the page will go live and the awesome business name will be revealed at the same time.  The website itself is still under construction and a lot of the content will be shared between both once the site is also live.  I think most businesses create a website first - then a fb page.  Unsurprisingly, I'm doing things all about face. 

Stay tuned :o)