Nov 20th

The day of my birthday lunch with my women has finally arrived!

I have been so looking forward to this day.

I even went out and bought a party dress.  I think I told you that already.

The consensus seemed to be I rock green.  Will remember that for future.  It's not a colour I have gravitated towards in the past, but I'm really enjoying it at the moment.  Perhaps it's the freshness of spring... all those thriving vegie seedlings in the garden... or perhaps it's an India colour.  Is such a thing possible?  I do feel like I'm leaving so much of my old self behind.  But this isn't a recent thing or something that has *just* occurred since the name change, or even since the consideration of the name change.  It's been a slowly evolving thing.  Growth with maturity, perhaps... it was bound to happen at some stage ;o)

Thirteen women joined me today.  Many leaving at home wee breastfed babes.  I felt immensely treasured and loved by each and every one of them.  I had such a wonderful time.  I will let the (many) images speak for themselves <3

There were so many more images, but I don't want to crash your browser ;o).

These are a collection of my favourites.  Images of me with some of the most amazing, important women in my life.  And images showing so much love, connection and intimacy.  I do not, for one minute, ever take for granted the love that overflows in our community.  I am grateful for these women and all they bring to my life, each and every day.

Nov 13th

While Ben worked on the mezzanine, the women and I made milk.

The last time I made milk, all that was required was a glass of water, a fabulous lunch and a sit on the couch.  My body did the rest ;o).  This time, considerably more effort was involved.

We started with a database of recipes, chose the milk we fancied the most and gathered in my kitchen with the ingredients required.  My kitchen provided the thermomix and the milk bag.  I wish I had images to show you - but we were talking far too much to even come close to remembering to pick up the camera (and that's extraordinary for me!).  And when I think about it, things were wet and messy, so not a conducive environment for my (second) most loved piece of equipment. 

We made a litre of coconut milk/cream and the same flesh provided an additional litre of coconut-flavoured water.  We made a litre of rice and cashew milk and a litre of oat milk.  I didn't actually get to making my own in the end... but I have plenty of time and opportunity.  All three milks were fantastically tasty.  And creamy.  I'm excited to trial dates as the sweetener in the milk I make for myself, rather than honey/glucose or rice syrup as suggested.  Will let you know how I go (and pause to take pics :o).

Speaking of pics, I did take a before and progress shot of the sleeping space Ben is creating the mezzanine in.  The frame and supporting beams are in place.  He's off for a week to Canberra on conference, so the job will be completed on his return.  I'm looking forward to the finished project.  I'm already feeling the excitement of the improved use of space.

Nov 1st

Well, here we are!

My birthday month.  Where it all began, 330 odd days ago.

I do so love my birthday month.  I have a firm belief that once you reach a certain age (arbitrary, decide for yourself, really), your birthday celebrations demand to be spread out over the course of a month, rather than just the one day.  I think I was about 21 when they started lasting a week (I think that was in part due to the time taken to prepare the party).  Then, in the years that followed when I lived a long way from home, I would have two celebrations - one with friends and one with family - with each gathering separated by about a week or two.

Now, now I'm just plain greedy.  They've lasted about a month or so for a while now.  I have officially claimed November for myself.  In defiance against the Giftmas decorations and promotion that starts about now.  I can't quite see how they can be even talking about Giftmas yet, when quite clearly my birthday is an occasion just as large and festive and it comes before Giftmas on the Gregorian calendar.

Still, I'm known for my generosity, so I'm happy to share November with all who also want to celebrate over the best 30 days of the year.  It really is a rockin' awesome month.  Lots of Scorpios and Sagittarians were born in this month and that's a fabulous thing in itself.  Were you?

A lovely relaxing day.

Horribly hard yoga session, but we won't linger there.  I survived and that's not to be sneezed at (what does that saying even mean?!).  Then wonderful friends dropped off the compost tumbler I was talking about yesterday!  How generous is that!  Very grateful for the gift of their time and effort.  A little bit of work on the business, lots of talk about environmental and health politics of veganism and whether we can make it happen in our world, followed by an evening of snuggling with tea, choc and tickytacky (that's what we call the show Weeds we're enjoying at the moment).

What are you grateful for, today?

Oct 28th

 I saw this today and I liked it immediately!

On another look, I've just noticed the raindrops.  I think this is a wonderful poster for the fridge, bedside table, cereal packet, coffee machine... Reminders are perfect wee nudges for maintaining presence.  I especially like the raindrops.  Because it's often on the days of gloominess that we forget how blessed we are to have this day.

It poured and poured this afternoon.  Thunderstorms and lightning.  I was utterly grateful that I didn't need to pour chlorinated, fluoridated water all over my growing seedlings.  That instead, (mostly) unadulterated water from the sky replenished the moisture requirements of my kitchen garden.

I was also grateful for the rain for clearing the air.  I am guessing the pollen rating was off the charts today, as my eyes itched, my nose ran and the sneezing was pretty much non-stop.  The cleansing of the air was a welcome reprieve.  Not to mention the energetic charge in the air with upcoming storms!  There's something about it that makes me want to dance skyclad under the falling droplets, particularly when the air is as warm as it was today.  So, so cleansing and refreshing.

A thoughtful and gorgeous friend posted a link to a blog today.

Must share:  http://www.brenebrown.com/badge

This page is one aspect of her online world.  I haven't yet explored the whole site, but I will!  Her outlook is marvelous!  So much along my line of operation.  It immediately hit me that this could be a focus of my next blogging crusade - my adventures in a life of authenticity.  This blog has touched on them, but not in any real depth and not as a focus, more incidental mentioning.  If I'm 100% honest, I just want an excuse to use the badges!  How awesome are they?!

I'm utterly, 100% a fake-it-til-you-make-it kinda woman.

It's how I get anywhere.  It all began when I was introduced to the concept of manifestation - work out exactly what it is you want, then act, think and talk like you already have it.  Soon enough, you will.  So, I work out what I want and I fake it.  And it works.  I can list people, things, journeys and headspaces that I have wanted and obtained, through manifestation.  

So, authenticity.  Loving unconditionally.  Not such easy tasks.  But they don't just happen overnight.  They happen with focus, with intention, with practice.  A blog helps all of those things happen.  You're thinking about it, you're talking about it, you're manifesting it.  I liked what Brene had to say here:

"Choosing authenticity is an act of resistance.  Choosing to live and love with our WholeHearts is an act of defiance.  You’re going to confuse, piss-off and terrify lots of people – including yourself.  One minute you'll pray that the transformation ends, and the next minute you’ll pray that it never ends."

Two friends have mentioned they are thinking along the same lines, blogging a similar journey.  Which is fantastic.  Brene had this to say "We need to be surrounded by other authenticity activists who are willing to be imperfect and real. We need to build a community of people who can straddle the truth that we are both afraid and brave (often at the same time)."  I love this.  And it's very true.  My friends are very brave to have me in their worlds.  I embrace and welcome being called on my shit.  That doesn't go for everyone.  And yet, by default of allowing me in their worlds, they are faced with my expectations of authenticity.  I think it's a testament to the strength, the courage, the openness to growth that each of them possess.  And I adore each and every one of them for it.

Oct 21st

Because one new kitchen contraption wasn't enough this year.

We're totally in love with Zoku.

And fiendishly grateful for friends that enable, tantalizing us with fresh and frozen fruit recipe ideas...

 

And really, what would a hot summer be without one?

Are you sold yet?

Oct 18th

Have you discovered Pinterest?

I'm late to the party, as is often the case.  Mostly because I resented having to link my pinterest account with my fb or twitter id.  And as a result, I put it off.  Living with a privacy freak, I have become a little uneasy with the electronic papertrail that happens all too easily.  Silly things bother me though - like this.  When really, you'd think I'd be more paranoid about being logged into my Google account constantly (because I'm too lazy to type in the password every day to post here) and having every click via the Google search engines tracked and logged...  I digress.

So, I've been having fun meandering around the world that is pinterest.  Sooo many crafty ideas.  Like this one:

A funky feminist friend of mine noticed this pin on my board and swooned at the yoni-lovin' beauty.  An oh-so-casual note was messaged to me... "remember how I named your business...? ;p"

I was thrilled!  I have been contemplating for months what to create this woman, as a thank you.  I did indeed offer to pay for her creative inspiration in craft - but what do you craft for a woman who's crafty?  Absolute hard basket.  But this!  This I could do!  I spent the last two days formulating an idea around this inspiration, then manifesting it into reality.  And tonight, I gifted it to her.  

There was much squealing in delight.  Total win.*grin*

Grateful for having friends in my life that are so generous with their talents.

Grateful for having friends in my life that inspire me to create

Grateful for having friends in my life that delight in receiving.

Oct 13th

I'm often grateful for the women in my life, the friends I feel very treasured to have. I find it ten times the blessing when our children find harmonious connection.  I'm finding this is happening more and more frequently - but it hasn't always been this way.

Goose has always been a slow-to-warm child.  My velcro baby vehemently protected her personal space and would take a very long time to become comfortable in a new surrounding or with new people - if she found that easy comfort at all.  My lap has almost always been occupied at outings (and more often than not, still is).  As she is maturing, her social comfort zone is broadening.  There are some children (and adults) in her world where she feels instantly comfortable in their presence and it's so wonderful for me to witness.

Our playdate today was with such a family.

I tend to not mention we have plans with anyone, because more often than not, her immediate reaction is "I don't want..."  I'm finding that if friends 'just arrive' or happen to be at the same park or coffee shop at the same time, it's seamless and she's enjoying extra company before she even realises it's not just her and me anymore.  So when we arrived home from shopping today, to find friends in our garden awaiting our arrival, the integration was effortless and the two children played joyously for hours.

12 months ago, this wasn't the case with these two.  This blue-eyed sunshine boy is a snuggly-cuddler (which I get more than my fair share of and I LOVE!) whereas Goose is arms-length-cos-I'm-having-a-good-day-if-you-don't-mind.  Oil and water.  Not a great mix.  His mama and I were pondering if their joyous connection now is a result of them familiarising themselves with each other's comfort zones and finding that happy medium... we're not absolutely sure.  Either way, we love.

It also means for me, that because my lap isn't occupied by one big girl, it's free for the snuggles and cuddles of a tiny brown-eyed boy, which is the highlight of my day when we share company with this gorgeous threesome.

Oct 1st

Goodbye and safe travels, juicy Jess.

You have impacted my wee world in a way no other person has.

I will be forever grateful for our paths crossing.

I miss you so much already and you and Jerry have not even left town, yet!

When I returned to yoga after a few months hiatus and discovered you fresh atop our teacher's podium, your classes quickly became my favourite.  I liked your sparkle, your spunk, your strength and your juicy.  Your balance of kindness and kickarse is so perfect for me, particularly when I'm feeling weak and pathetic.

We found a common ground in conversations about blood.

No surprises there *laugh*.

And when the strength of this last shadow moon bought forth my bleed two days early, while I was midway through practice - as I stood there, my essence of power trickling in rivulets mixed with sweat down my inner thigh, I remembered that this had happened to you too once before.  I remembered how you told me you too pressed on with your practice, unwilling to break focus or strength concentration.  It was a raw and primal moment for me and I felt such a sisterhood connection with you having also had that experience.

My unashamed wild woman has become a more outwardly present companion over the last few years, but she does not walk my walk unassisted.  When I see you, I see how you have embraced your wild woman so completely.  Your every word, your every smile, your every movement embodies such JUICE!  I feel I could orbit your essence non-stop given half the chance, just drinking in and bearing witness to your dance through life.

And yes, of course we WILL see each other again!  How can two people have such an instant attraction and connection so briefly - and that be it!? *laugh*

Travel free, travel light and travel safe sweet Jess.

Many blessings to you on this next leg of your journey, next chapter in your tale.

I look forward to the next time we find ourselves standing next to one another in a small hot room, near naked, dripping with sweat, sharing energy.

Thank you for the gift of you into my life.

xx

Sept 28th

A most gorgeous, auspicious, magnificent day!

The fifth anniversary of the birth of my beautiful girl.

On this day, five years ago.

30 minutes old.

What a journey from then to now!

Whoever said children are your biggest teachers totally had my number.  I have changed completely and utterly, fundamentally, since the day Lucy was born.  She has challenged my view on everything, EVERYTHING!  I almost couldn't find another soul so completely opposite to me in so many ways.  The way we view the world, our first instincts in all situations, socially... I have seen a whole new world through Lucy's eyes - one I most likely would not have chosen to be bothered seeing, but have been forced to witness to help me understand the way she thinks and the way she responds to life.  As a result, I have become more empathetic, more understanding, more compassionate, more accepting.

And the people that have come into my life, directly as a result of having this wee girl, born at this time.  Magnificent people!  People I call family, sisters.  People I will know for the rest of my life.  People that treasure me, us, as much as we treasure them.  People who have enriched my life beyond measure and continue to do so.  People I would be utterly lost in this vast country, in this complex journey of parenthood, without.  People I adore with my whole heart and soul.

Birthdays are very special to me.

The day the world got that little bit more magical, because someone so amazingly special was born, is absolutely a day to celebrate!  The birth of my child is incredibly special to me.  Not only was our world blessed with another beautiful soul, it was also the day I moved from lover into mother, through the most incredibly intense and powerful transformation of my life to date.  Her birth was very primal, very raw.  I knew so much about birth, and yet nothing at all.  The experience of her birth took me to the limits of my soul and back again.  Had me escaping from my body, flying into the trees never wanting to return, then being wrenched back through the height of an intense contraction, screaming as though on fire (I was told later).  The feeling of her furry head between my fingers as she began emerging from my body is an experience I will never forget.  Alongside the sensation of birthing all four kilos of her in two pushes.

Yes, this is a day with much for me to rejoice and remember, to share with one of the most important people in my life.  And today, we did just that.  A wee ritual or two of our own was shared.  Flicking through the 100 photos of my labour and her birth is one we love to do.  Painting of her fingernails in any colour she chooses - a special ritual for birthdays only.  Today, she chose her clothes.  She loves the frou-frou my girl *smile*.  Bright, spring party dress, pink tiara and ruby red shoes.  Birthing necklace and a strand of her own dress-up necklace for me.  And a day of outings, at her request.

Then on returning home, an hour of her favourite cartoon, Dora and fish and chips for dinner.  A late bedtime AS WELL as the usual two stories (which can often be exchanged for an extended play and later bedtime).  She fell asleep with a smile on her face and her mama's arms wrapped around her.

A full and most joyous day for us both. <3