Sept 29th

So I'm done.

Yep.

30 practices in 29 days.

I totally rock.

HUGE gratuity kudos for Ben and Lucy, for supporting me in making this happen.

It's quite possible I may be conquering my fear of commitment.  Well, if I don't put it out there, I can't very well make moves towards the reality, now can I?  Fake it til you make it and all that.  I'm not a stubborn person.  I don't tend to have a pig-headedness about anything.  I'm the kind of person that gets incredibly excited about a new idea, rush into it all cylinders firing, only to get bored, lament the loss of free time I had before and promptly discard my new activity for something else.  Or nothing at all.  With zero feelings of guilt, regret or failure.  I just decide I don't want to do it anymore and that's that.

Now, I know a lot of people that are absolutely cringing reading that statement.  How can I NOT finish something?!  Don't I feel something is missing?  Don't I lie awake at night, bothered by it?  Nope.  Easy come, easy go, really.  It did start to bother me in the last few years.  Not so much that I don't stick with anything - I don't believe in flogging a dying horse, or going down with the ship.  Let the horse die peacefully and abandon that sinking vessel while you still can!  Moreso, I was concerned that I didn't have what it *takes* to complete something.  Sticktoitiveness.  Did I quit when things didn't seem to be going anywhere, or when I lost my passion - or did I quit when things got hard?  I wasn't sure and exploring the idea scared the beezeejus out of me.  But I had to know.

When I decided to do the challenge, I just wanted to commit to trying to complete the 30 days.  I knew care arrangements had the potential to make things tricky, so I was prepared to relinquish a day if logistics were the reason.  But that only reason aside, I wanted to commit to going - ill, tired, bloated, fatigued, scared, frazzled - or not.  Once I put it out there (wrote my name on the board, told two teachers and posted my intention here), things started falling into place.  When I talked to my beloved, he offered to mind Lucy on days he could, so I could practice.  And before I knew it, every single day offered a class at a time that worked in with my life.

So, it quickly moved from intending to try, to actually doing the bloody thing.

And here we are.  With only one real moment of "I sooooo don't wanna go today".  I think I actually willed time to stand still so I could sleep for another ten minutes that morning.  Turns out I do have what it takes to finish something.  And I'm quite pleased about that.  It was a pretty good endurance test, of both the physical, mental and emotional kind.  And spiritual some would argue.  But I have no idea how to go about that part intentionally through yoga, so I'm not sure I can count it (although it most likely is happening without my conscious awareness *grin*).

I've been playing with the idea of packing the wine glass away for the month of October.  This challenge seems a little scarier than yoga for 30 days, to be honest.  But again, I want to know if I can.  So, I think I will *smile*.  Fancy joining me?

In other news, had a total cute overload today.

My studio put on a school holidays class for kids.  One set of most postures, no heat.

Minimum age was 6.  The studio owner, Jacquie met Lucy and fell in love with her, after Lucy pulled her best downward dog.  So she was given a place *grin*.  

She was so tiny next to the other nine mini yogis.  But her determination, her focus and her concentration in her practice melted my heart.  I pushed back the tears a couple of times.  I was lucky to be able to capture shots, so I'll leave you with a couple.  So much cute.

xxx

Sept 27th

Today I am grateful for perseverance and the incredible results that it yields.

I have just finished my 28th yoga class in 27 days.  In the event the math is confusing you, I did two classes today, to make up for not being able to attend this coming Friday.  I was up at 5am to be on the mat at 6am and I left the house again at 5.15pm to be on the mat at 6pm (with my beloved as company for this one, which was nice!).  I have never completed two practices in one day before and I really wasn't sure what to expect.  I have seen people crawl out of the studio after doing a back to back (two classes with a 30 minute break in between).  But I deliberately chose these times because often, on the days I practice at 6am, my muscles have forgotten by midday.  So I figured, by 6pm, I'd be fresh as a daisy!

And I was right, mostly.

I did start to fatigue with five postures to go, but I stuck with it.  Of course.  You don't really have any other option in Bikram.  It's not like you can nip out for a breather or pause the machine you're pedaling, you know?  But something extraordinary happened!  Well, more than one thing actually.

Let me introduce you to standing head to knee.

Otherwise known as Dandayamana Janushirasana.

The posture is in three stages.  First you bend down and pick up your foot, balancing on one leg.  The standing leg is locked, thigh contracted, kneecap lifts up.  You stand here for a bit, balancing, before the next stage, which is kicking your heel out, straightening your leg, while keeping the standing leg locked.  You hold this position for a bit, pushing your heel towards the mirror in front of you.  Then you pull your elbows down towards the floor, without moving the extended leg up or down, standing leg still locked.  If you can get your elbows below your knee, you then pull your body down to meet your thigh (I'm not up to this last part yet, I'm still working on getting my elbows below my knee).  You repeat for the other leg, then you do both legs a second time.

Now, for the first time in my yoga history, I did not fall out once.  Two sets, two legs each set.  Rock solid for all four.  Astonishing.  Really, astonishing.  I couldn't quite believe it was happening.  I utterly nailed it and I'm going to BRAAAAAG like crazy, cos I have no idea when that will ever happen again.  My average fall out is once, sometimes twice in the first set and once in the second set.

The second awesome thing that happened, was in head to knee pose with extreme stretching.  Otherwise known as Janushirasana with Paschimottanasana.

Now this one looks similar to the one above, but this one is a compression posture, rather than a balancing (obviously, it's on the floor) and stretching posture.  The point is to compress your thyroid, chest, belly into themselves - roll into a ball and get your forehead on your knee.  If you have to bend your knee to do it (which I do and that's just my nose - forehead, forget it!), you end up looking a little like this guy:

I have a situation in my back, specifically my thoracic spine, called DISH.  Which stands for Diffuse Idiopathic Skeletal Hyperostosis.  Which essentially means four or more vertebrae in the middle of my back have fused flat, where there should be a curvature.  My chiro tells me there is no fixing it, as it's structural (you can't unfuse bone.  Makes sense).  So, consequently in my yoga practice, there are quite a few postures I cannot receive maximum benefit, as I cannot round my spine to get my forehead on my knee, as is often the requirement of the posture.  The closest I can get is my nose to my knee and that's on a good night.  Except tonight I did.  For the first time in over a year of practice, my forehead met my knee on both sides of this posture, in both sets.  Astonishing.

When I got over the initial shock of what had just happened, my mind started racing as to how on earth this was possible.  And a few new body sensations I've detected recently started to make sense.  A totally new (in that I've never felt it in my body before) burning sensation started about five days ago, in my middle back when I do rabbit pose, which is an all-over stretch throughout your entire spine.  

Rabbit pose.  Otherwise known as Sasangasana.

Not muscular (heavens knows, I know what THAT feels like) - very different.  Like my spine is sunburned and someone is rubbing it with firm pressure.  Just in one particular spot, very localised.  When I'm not in the posture, I feel a kind of armour-type feeling in that spot.  Like there's a hard plate pressed up against that area, keeping everything in one position - particularly when I bend my arms and point my elbows backwards, stretching the skin on my back.  And it aches a little.  The final kinda crazy thing about all this, is for the last two nights, my body has been screaming out for calcium (I get a weird feeling in my legs when I need calcium).  In fact, it's calling for it again now.

The body is always more limber second set.  It stands to reason that the body will be more limber second class in 12 hours.  But unless my flexibility is shifting somewhere else - say my pelvis for example - I do believe my spine may be healing the fusing that occurred as a youngster.  Astonishing.

Lots to contemplate.  With another spinal x-ray planned in 12 months certainly on the agenda to see if this assumption is correct.  I look forward to continuing my practice and seeing where I am in another 12 months.  I most certainly do not underestimate the healing capabilities of the body, when given the right environment and the right tools.  I'm quietly excited by the thought :o).

And on that note, I'm off to wrap some presents for a very important birthday girl I will be spending the day with tomorrow.

xx

Sept 6th

So, day six is done and I'm a little baffled by something.

I thought the biggest challenge (in all honesty!) was going to be the mental challenge.  My body knows the postures and knows how strenuous it is, so I didn't actually think that part would be a challenge.

WHAT WAS I THINKING???????

Off on some fairy lala land, obviously.  Newsflash!  Pushing your body to extreme physical limits for 90 minutes in a 40 degree room, every day is going to be challenging!  In case you hadn't already gathered, today hurt.  I struggled with effort today, pushing to my limit while in the posture.  And I struggled with the apparent backward direction my limberness seems to be taking!  What's with that?  Aren't I supposed to be getting *more* flexible?  Not today.  Today, my back ached like a creaky gate in need of oil.  Even bending forwards, head to toe after a sit-up ached.

le sigh.

Suck it up, sweetheart.  You're only coming to the end of week one!

It will be fine.  Although I was thinking in the shower after class, that I'm getting a bit bored with the dialogue.  Yes, yes, hands over my head sideways, I know.  Yes, yes, roll forward like a wheel, until my forehead meets the floor, I know. *laugh*  I imagine I'll know the dialogue as well as our teachers by the end of the 30 days. *smile*  Boredom is possible.  Quitting is not.  I can have a real 'sooky lala' attitude sometimes, when things get hard.  I hear my inner child whining "I don't wanna!".  And because that was never an option for me as a child, my adult(?) self tends to enable that cop-out desire - and I do, more often than not, cop-out (you'll recall my previous posts on commitment issues).

This blog itself has been testament to maintaining a commitment (and I'm quite chuffed actually *beam*).  This 30 day one though, is a little different... for starters, I can't do it from the comfort of my own home!  Anyhoo.  Yes, today was hard.  Tomorrow is another day.

Have been feeling a bit of cabin fever, so the man and I went out to see a film tonight.

Lovely feel good one - One Day (I think it's called) with Anne Hathaway (have you noticed that woman has legs for Africa!  Gorgeous!).  Just the ticket.  And tomorrow, I've decided to take the day off.  The house needs order and my mind is a bit scrambled as a result of my environment.

And I realised this blog hasn't had pictures for a few days!

Perhaps I'll go shooting tomorrow.

Or perhaps I'll just settle in with one of my books on the go, once the house is in a reasonable state.  Or perhaps I'll work on the logistics of a study I have been planning for a few years now - interest seems to be peaking.  Or perhaps I'll delve a little deeper into the idea of furthering my study...

Much to contemplate.

May 23rd

Today is a very special day in my blogging journey.

Today marks the six month mark of blogging every day for a year.

Gosh and golly.

For a straight A commitment-phobe, I reckon I'm doing mightily fine *grin*.

So today, I am grateful for my perseverance, for my tenacity, for my commitment.

And I am also incredibly grateful for the window into the utter beauty of my world that I have had the opportunity to witness as a result of this exercise.  It really does start to become effortless.  The reframing of a shitty day, to find something to be grateful for.  And the joy in pausing to take stock of the truly wonderful things, regardless of how big or small, that make up the fantastic days.

 We are blessed with so much, yet often appreciate so little.

The consciousness of gratitude redirects your focus.

And I'm finding that such a wonderful gift.

Have you started yours yet?

*smile*

_________________________________________


Just on a side note, here's a couple of pics of my ongoing love affair with tightarsery *grin*.
It's becoming an art form now.
And yep, I'm still stitchin' for Cambodia.  A couple more weeks until our woman flies out!  Heaps of time for more stitchin'!