Nov 16th

Have you ever gone an entire day and not seen another human soul?

I can't remember the last time it happened to me - I'm not sure it has, it may have... Today I did.  Three kittens, a cat and the interwebz were the entirety of my communication outside of self today.  I got towards the end of the day and it dawned on me that perhaps some human interaction would be good for the soul.  The thing was, I didn't actually feel like talking to anyone.  Sometimes I like to be amongst the busyness of people, the chatter, the laughter, the energy, but remain in my own bubble.  Apparently I was like this as a baby.  My mother would place me in a room at the other end of the house and expect sleep would find me.  Rather, I would holler at her until she bought me out with the action.  Within minutes, I'd be sleeping peacefully.  It baffled her considerably (being her first and all).  But as any mother will tell you - irrespective of if it appears crazy, if it works, you do it, until it doesn't anymore.

I achieved some considerable progress in the writing of the third e-guide (the first in the A&O series) and many crafting projects were lingering on the outskirts of my attention.  So I made the decision to stay indoors and round out my day of solitary with some tactile creative pursuits.

Sometimes it takes a day of quiet contemplation to remember just how rejuvenating it is for the soul.  I'm always reminded of Alanis Morrisette's lyrics "why are you so petrified of silence?" in moments like these.  We are, mostly.  The quiet allows our inner dialogue to come through loud and clear, without disruption.  Surrounding ourselves with noise muffles that voice quite considerably.  And when there is activity, we can busy ourselves and ignore the thoughts going around in our heads.  However, we cannot ignore the impact those thoughts have at a cellular level.  Which is all fine and good if the inner dialogue is complimentary to vitality.  More often than not though, it isn't.  Which is why I think, we avoid solitary time.  We avoid quiet.

And in all honesty, I wasn't really alone today, at all.

I had these three balls of fluff in and out of my lap all day.  And my head was busy on and off in between writing stints, with interaction and conversation with my online world. Silence is something I'd really like to experience.  True silence.  Like a Vipassana retreat.  Where there is no talking or communication of any kind.  Perhaps I'll give myself this gift next birthday.

Nov 15th

The beginnings of the fruitfulness of spring!

The one immediately above is a feijoa flower!  I'm hoping like crazy it will pollinate.  They usually don't bear fruit for a couple of years!  Very exciting prospect. :oD

And now, just like magic, the spring rains fall after a deliciously warm day.  Absolute brilliant growing weather - wet and warm.  Very grateful for the bounty the earth generates with very little effort and attention. 

The wisteria is flowering again :o)

And the Birds of Paradise always make me smile.  I love structured plants and these ones remind me of a very curious creature, eager to investigate every bee that flies past.

And we still have cherries on the tree!  Although, if you look closely, you can see two stems with naked pips attached!  Such a lovely example of just taking what you need and leaving the rest for someone or something else.  Nature's perfect bounty - providing for all who need her :o)

And I spotted this beautiful creature, having her lunch.

All this while wandering around my front garden, getting my daily dose of vitamin D, underneath a brilliant blue sky.  A gorgeous, gorgeous morning, preparing me for a long day in front of the computer, which left me quite spent!  Batteries about to be recharged with a few hours in the company of my women-folk :o)

Nov 14th

A special delivery :o)

Grateful for receiving this piece of paper before the anniversary day of my birth.  For some reason, I just wanted it to be legal and official before then.  Grateful for the ease of changing over significant documents (although peeved that I needed a new photo for my license!  I really liked the old one - I'm wearing the biggest smile!).  Grateful that I live so close to the places where I can just walk in and show them my new document and it's done!  There will be some instances where I will have to get JP certified copies organized, then sent out.  Annoying, but mostly I just abhore the excessive use of paper.

Yay!  It's here.  And it's official.

I'm so happy.  So content.

It's lovely.

Nov 13th

While Ben worked on the mezzanine, the women and I made milk.

The last time I made milk, all that was required was a glass of water, a fabulous lunch and a sit on the couch.  My body did the rest ;o).  This time, considerably more effort was involved.

We started with a database of recipes, chose the milk we fancied the most and gathered in my kitchen with the ingredients required.  My kitchen provided the thermomix and the milk bag.  I wish I had images to show you - but we were talking far too much to even come close to remembering to pick up the camera (and that's extraordinary for me!).  And when I think about it, things were wet and messy, so not a conducive environment for my (second) most loved piece of equipment. 

We made a litre of coconut milk/cream and the same flesh provided an additional litre of coconut-flavoured water.  We made a litre of rice and cashew milk and a litre of oat milk.  I didn't actually get to making my own in the end... but I have plenty of time and opportunity.  All three milks were fantastically tasty.  And creamy.  I'm excited to trial dates as the sweetener in the milk I make for myself, rather than honey/glucose or rice syrup as suggested.  Will let you know how I go (and pause to take pics :o).

Speaking of pics, I did take a before and progress shot of the sleeping space Ben is creating the mezzanine in.  The frame and supporting beams are in place.  He's off for a week to Canberra on conference, so the job will be completed on his return.  I'm looking forward to the finished project.  I'm already feeling the excitement of the improved use of space.

Nov 12th

The fragrance of fresh basil and tomato filled my kitchen this morning.

Home made pizza was calling.  A quick google search and my favourite TMX blog, Quirky Cooking came up with a gluten-free pizza base recipe.  I hoped substituting amaranth for millet would work and got busy.  I was very pleased with the resulting dough.  And loved that not only was it gluten-free, it was also vegan.  

I ruined that of course, by sprinkling mozzarella over the top.  But the thing is, I abhore waste.  We had some in the fridge and I wanted to get rid of it - like we're getting rid of all the meat in our freezer at the moment.  It's funny.  The more I look at cheese in food - even in its natural habitat, like on top of a pizza - the more it seems so unnatural for me to be eating it.  Congealed and thick - kinda like mucus (and not the good kind).  I have always loved cheese.  Of every kind:  hard, soft, blue, smoked.  It turns a Mediterranean pasta dish into something wonderful.  And makes a jam sandwich a filling and fulfilling experience.

This gorgeous dish I have just made from scratch is divine.  I just devoured a piece.  The cheese hasn't added anything I don't think.  Oftentimes, cheese adds the flavour of salt - which improves most dishes (that's the commercial almost-chef in me talking).  But I can add salt for that.  I have avoided dairy on a large scale, for health reasons, for about the last 12 years.  I have still eaten, but in nowhere near the quantities of my previous enjoyment.  I feel this is another conscious step towards embracing veganism.  When it's a taste reason, it's even easier to embrace (for me, anyway) than when it's health or political.

So, cheese aside - the verdict on the pizza?

The base was a little thick in the middle (rookie mistake), so a bit doughy.  But the edges were crunchy and tasty.  The fresh basil and tomato is a winning combination, and with a little salt and pepper - a truly magnificent warm afternoon indulgence.  I would have like to enjoy with my man, but alas, his sojourn to Bunnings took a little longer than expected.  He's building a mezzanine level in his bedroom.  Why, you ask?

To fit the queen sized bed into a small room that already has a king sized bed.  Again, with the why?  Well, when we did the room rearrange, Goose and I moved into the bigger room, as her own room was reallocated to our new housemates.  We placed the bed in the only spot available in the room (when windows, doors, wardrobes and ensuites were taken into account).  And she slept terribly.  The first night.  Then the second night.  Then the third night.  No longer a random one-off.  After having my building biology knowledge refreshed - it made perfect sense.  On the external wall, the same wall our bed shared inside, was the meter box.  A massive generator of electromagnetic fields.  While not noticeably having his sleep disturbed while he slept in the same spot before us, we don't think its a coincidence that Ben has not been able to remember his dreams for the entire time he slept in that room.

So, the three of us now have to find space in one room.  It's becoming a little like what I imagine homes that house the entire extended family are like.  Five people sleeping in two rooms.  I will draw the line at washing being strung up inside though.  Living in Australia - that's just not necessary *grin*.  It makes me smile, I must admit, when I think about huge McMansions being built with five bedrooms for a family of two adults (who share a room usually) and two children.  One room inside which often the only person sleeping, is a tiny baby (who most often wants to be snuggled between his parents, anyway! *laugh*).

So, why a queen bed above and not just a single raised bed?

Well - we have a mattress and linen for a queen.  No point buying another single mattress (the one we own will be used by our new housemates) and more linen.  That's unnecessary consumerism.  It also means, that Ben has the upstairs bed and Goose has the downstairs bed and there is room for two in each, which means I have the option to take my pick in where I sleep!  I do love how Goose may be the only person sleeping in a king sized bed on occasion.  Quite amusing.

It got me to thinking why more families don't cram lots of people in fewer rooms - after all, you're just sleeping in there.  And I think the reason is, nowadays, bedrooms are not just for sleeping - they are a sanctuary of private space.  And that's important.  But I also think, separate rooms for living can be alienating.  I recall sharing a room with my two sisters for the majority of our childhood.  In some houses, it was two in one and one in another.  The one in her own room almost always felt left out and spent her time in the room of the other two.  I also recall alliances being made between the two that shared a room, often to the point of leaving the third out.

During our teenage years, we all slept in a fitted out attic space.  There were three sections (and invisible lines we dared not cross if border control was enforced), but no doors or walls.  I know without a doubt, these years during our childhood strengthened the bond we have as adults now.  Oh - there were fights - oh boy, were there fights!  But because we couldn't lock ourselves away in a room, we were forced to figure out our shit.  Because we couldn't avoid each other, we were in each other's faces and life is more enjoyable when we were harmonious, so peace was reached, I believe, much sooner than it would have been, were we able to lock ourselves away.  Particularly during teenagehood.

And I have wonderful, wonderful memories of sharing space - of talking until we fell asleep, telling stories, sharing jokes.  I remember laughing until my pillowcase was wet with tears and my stomach muscles ached (my sisters are incredibly funny - or perhaps, we're just an amusing trio, we often did bounce off each other - another benefit from sharing space so often).  And falling asleep with endorphins pumping through our veins was a wonderful sleep aid.

In our home now, we will have two rooms for sleeping.  And because we'll be so tucked in, there won't be much space for living.  Throughout the rest of the house though, we have a large lounge that merges with the kitchen, a long sunroom that doubles as an office space, that can be zoned off with glass doors and now an ex-bedroom, which will double as a large walk-in wardrobe and a study.  We have a sofa that is sitting in the garage that needs a home and a desk that no longer fits in any sleeping rooms.  And of course, there is an undercover outdoor space and a backyard.  Many, many spaces for living (not to mention the beach a ten minute walk away).  Space for sharing and enough space to find your own quiet if you need it.  I'm looking forward to seeing how it will work.

With regards to the merging of sleeping space of Ben, Lucy and me - we're a tad apprehensive, but we're also optimistic.  And the man loves any opportunity to get out the building toys *smile*.

Nov 11th

11/11/11

A truly auspicious date!

According to some, the official transition from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius.  Although, as my MIL pointed out, transitions between ages that last 2100 years will generally last longer than one day *wink*.  The shift from away from old, fear-based habits and into a reality based on hope rather than despair, of abundance rather than lack, of peace rather than war, of contentedness rather than yearning, and of connectedness rather than separation* is most certainly being felt and I feel started in my lifetime, if not before (think swinging sixties).

* Description taken from this blog post, by a gorgeous yogi :o)

I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate tonight's full moon and of course, the small thing of the dawning of a brand new age, than congregating with my loved ones, dancing with fire and LED lights, to the beat of some African drums.  So, we did!

It was a wonderful gathering!

The joining of two (perhaps more?) communities.  Our humble gathering of local families in the village (that have met on a few occasions now), a group of African drummers and more fire twirlers!  The spot we chose, down on the foreshore, meant on a balmy night like this evening, the foot traffic was huge - so the atmosphere of those that lingered to watch us dance and hear us play, was just magical.  Beautiful, beautiful community.

I wish I had more images for you - but the absolute truth is, I barely put my poi down from the minute I arrived.  And Ben was busy on the staff until much later in the evening, when Goose and I had a play on the drums.  Most of the crowd had dispersed by the time these images were captured.  It would have been wonderful to share more of the action!

The generosity of spirit amongst all was beautiful.  I learned so much from more experienced twirlers and in turn, I stepped a few newbies through a couple of swings.  The night had magic in the air from the moment we arrived on the sand to enjoy our dinner, in the company of families from our village.

I have just received permission from a beautiful woman who was amongst last night, to share two short clips she shot on her phone.  The first is of Ben twirling (closest to us, on the right) and the second of me tutoring a few swings.  One day, I may be lucky enough to secure a capture of me in full swing.  I would find that very cool *smile*.

Nov 10th

My mind has been whirling the last 48 hours.

Tossing around ideas for a school.  Creating and building a school.  A correspondence school.  For now, at the very least, coursework for the school.  Offering e-courses, to be more specific.  I have two e-courses already written, both published online.  I have a comprehensive guide on nutrition and fertility one third completed (the material available, but just not yet composed).  And work for about six more books in my head.  I have also had plans to offer workshops on fertility education.

This all seems to be fantastic groundwork for what very well may be the framework for a correspondence school offering e-courses on preconception health care and trying to conceive, as well as chemical-free contraception and menstrual health.  The ideas I have for the six books can be combined into both of these guides.  They are not pass or fail kinds of courses.  They are information courses.  With the option of a weekend workshop where you can come in, brainstorm, ask questions, learn, share and walk away with that gorgeous red cherry on top of your sumptuous sundae of work just completed via computer screen.

Someone said to me on Sunday "you should offer an online course for getting pregnant".  I said "there's a million on the internet".  And the conversation stopped dead.  Out loud, that is.  In my head, the conversation had only just begun.  No one does what I do.  There is plenty of information out there tempting you with the ONE factor they did that helped them get pregnant after YEARS of trying - this ONE thing that no one else had told them, that they discovered themselves after hundreds of dollars on health professional consultation.  Sometimes it's that, hey guess what - not everyone ovulates on day 14.  Or, hey - have you heard of a lunar cycle?  Or hey - did you know that this phytonutrient could be the missing link?  

Rarely it's food, but sometimes it is.  But no one addresses nutrition, fertility education, toxic chemical exposure, sick building syndrome all in one package.  And yet, every aspect is incredibly important.  And I am yet to discover a package of information that talks about menstrual health alongside fertility education to prevent pregnancy.  So hey - maybe there is a need for this kind of information on the interwebz.

And maybe there are professionals out there that want to know all this to share with their clients - as well as the non-professionals too.  A course framework available to those who want the lot, all in one spot.  (Nice catchphrase... mental note to self).  I'm excited again - which is nice.  I was feeling weighed down a little - but the building biology aspect has breathed fresh life in a stagnating pond of creativity.

So, I'm off to plan a little and write a little... while the house is quiet.

And with Ben away for all of next week, I feel it will be a wonderful opportunity to submerge myself into my cave and come out with some brilliance!

12 days of blogging to go... :o)

Nov 9th

Grateful for the trust of a friend, who invited me to lighten her load a little - whose mother is a hairdresser no less!  (Living in far north QLD it must be noted.)

Grateful for Mother Nature and all her abundance and gifting.

Very exciting to see cherry fruit in blushing colour in our backyard.  Ben and I picked two and taste-tested, to be sure... delicious!  The rest I'm saving for Goose to help harvest.  Since we don't have our net over the top of the orchard yet, they are very much vulnerable to harvesting by the natives (birds).  I hope with much wishing that Goose gets to pluck a couple from their stem.

And I don't have any images, but it appears the three eggplants that were pulled from the soil (and replanted however many hours later) may just be okay!  Still a little limp, but looking promising.  SJ, my courageous friend pictured above, gifted our family some flat leaf parsley seedlings and five pea seedlings.  They were popped into the ground today, very much in need of water and soil.  I have high hopes for their flourishing!

Grateful for the drop-ins of friends who have the capability to destroy my funk and have me smiling and grateful for the blessings in my life.  Yes, I'm becoming a tired cliche - but I truly am grateful for the people in my life.  What is life, without love?

Nov 8th

So, after a day of dilly-dallying yesterday, today was all work.

I had an amazing time rifling through the work of Nicole Bijlsma and her recent publication, Healthy Home Health Family.  My focus today, was to post relevant information to the A&O community about allergens: causes, triggers and solutions.  It was a wonderful re-ignition of a passion laid dormant for many years.  It was also wonderful to spend an entire day pouring over a book!  Such utter pleasure.

By the end of the day, I was brain exhausted.

Plans were in place to spend with the women, needle in hand.  A beautiful excuse for birthday cake was in store and everything!  But I couldn't bring myself to muster the energy.  I had wine in hand, a little melancholy in my heart and cake on the promised agenda.  The kind of night to stay in.  I spent it crafting anyway - and the need for an iron and good light was met with ease.  I'm almost done with my flag.

And just look what my magnificent man manifested:

Recipe here.

Grateful for being waited upon when my soul feels heavy.

Grateful for people who have tried and tested amazing grain, sugar and dairy free, raw chocolate cakes, then posting them on the internet free of charge.

Grateful for my cave when the world seems a little too overwhelming.

Nov 7th

Still kinda pissed about it taking me two hours to get home from the city tonight - when, if I'd taken my (motorcycle) gear, it would have taken me 40 minutes.

See, I had romantic notions of spending the train ride in and back absorbed in my new book.  I also imagined I'd be done in the city and home again by dinner time.  Best intentions and all that, eh?  Just asking for the divine to play some mischief!

Brace yourselves.  I'm about to debrief my PITA public transport escapade of today.  So, for starters, I miss my train to the city by 5 minutes.  I actually saw it pull in to the platform as I was walking up our street.  Not to worry, another will be along in 7 minutes according to the LED display.  15 minutes comes and goes - and lo and behold - headlights (finally) in the distance.

Not a city loop train, so we wait at Flinders street (the main hub) before becoming a new destination line and head into the loop.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.  "Ladies and Gentleman.  Thank you for your patience.  We're just awaiting the tracks to be cleared and then we can depart."  "Thank you for your continued patience... still awaiting track clearance and we'll be on our way."

Phone rings.  It's Ben.  "Where are you?"

"Sitting at Flinders street, awaiting track clearance."

"I'll get us a ticket, there's a queue."

Good thinking.

And a good thing he did because we grabbed another ticket as we bolted through the doors (50 minutes later than anticipated) and we got the "sorry, no more tickets for name changes will be issued at Births, Deaths and Marriages, today.  Appointments closed at 4pm."  Would have been nice to know this prior.  No mention on the website - in fact the website stated doors closed at 4.30pm.  We planned to be there at half three, so we we thought we were giving ourselves enough time (minimising Ben's time away from work).  Ben's original ticket, however, was still valid.  Yay for the win!

As we waited for our turn, I suggested dinner in the city.  Hunger had struck half way into town and I was getting a little antsy with the lack of glucose supply to the brain.  Finally our turn and I'm told that the rates notice it asked for on the form wasn't actually enough to prove 12 months of residence in Victoria.  Arse, arse, arsity, arse.  "You can lodge now but you can't access express processing of five days.  Instead, it will be five weeks".  Eep!  "Or you can lodge tomorrow with all your paperwork and still access express processing."

Joy.

My intention of into the city and back out again was null and void.

So off we went to find a delicious, cosy spot for dinner.  And as dumb luck would have it, we happened upon just the place.  After a joyous bit of wall graffiti, indepth, exciting conversation and some very enjoyable Italian fare and indulgence, it was time to go home.  We skipped to the station, and pledged to race each other home - he on the bike, me on the chauffeured locomotive, courtesy of our fair city.
 

Just missed a departure by a millisecond.  The next 5 minutes away - lovely.

Except, I missed the last minute platform change that (quite obviously had) occurred as I was en route from my boarding station to the central hub, so engrossed in my book that I was.  I realised the balls-up when I noticed the direction of the next station was back the way we had just come!  I jumped up to check the platform notification and realised that if I stayed where I was, I'd be westward bound (rather than south-east).  Eep!

Jumped off, utterly confused, feeling like I was lost in a deja vu twilight zone.  Next Frankston train leaves in 20 minutes.  Joy.  Actually, no joy.  Utter fucked offness actually.  Try very hard to lighten the moment by posting amusing anecdote on social media site.  Afterall, there's not much to be done, other than wait.  Train arrives.  Cruise into central hub (take two).  Waiting, waiting, waiting.  Phone rings.  It's Ben.  He's home.  "Where are you now?"

"You'll never believe this.  Sitting at Flinders street station."

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

Cue long, ragey, expressive, expletive-littered vent.

It made me feel (slightly) better.

Still nothing to be done, but wait.

I settle into my book and contemplate the plans we had discussed over dinner.  Quite exciting plans :o).  Decide I want to pull an all-nighter and work on the course framework for the new plans :o).  Phone messages via sms.  It's Ben.  "I'm at the station, where are you now?"

Knowing I had just left Seaford station and the next was my stop and feeling we were slowing down, I message back "here!"  He messages back "where?" just as the train announces we were arriving at Frankston station.  Not Kannanook, my station - Frankston station, the one after.  The train skipped my stop.  Completely and utterly skipped it.

FUCK!

Oh, the colourful language the poured forth as I hit the pavement, walking homeward bound.  Yes, it made me feel better.  It was also likely to repel any unwanted attention that a small woman, walking alone at night in a dodgy part of town might attract.  Not too many people approach the crazies yelling at the top of their lungs (even if they are small) and the good thing about living in a dodgy part of town, is that crazies like me are common fodder.  I had a lovely old time shouting up at the moon.  And by the time my knight in shining Mazda arrived, I was almost smiling again.

A potential 40 minute ride home turned into a two hour journey of seemingly wasted time.  Although time is never really wasted, is it?  Our plans for that time may be altered, but the minutes still tick over the same as they would have, regardless of where I happen to be in the world.

It's all good.

A lovely evening with my beloved was had, even though the trip into the city was not a brilliant utilization of my time in the end.  Documents will be finalised and lodged tomorrow and with any luck, the name change will be legal in a week's time.  Now isn't that an exciting thought?

Nov 6th

Quite, quite grateful that I left the car unlocked last night (as I do every night).

As I would not have liked to test the dedication of the thieves that broke into, rummaged through and stole loose change.  Tidying up my car is far easier and less stressful than replacing a smashed window.  They left the plastic horses - thank goodness.  The toy library - and my child - will be pleased!

Very grateful that the thieves, on their departure up our driveway only pulled three eggplant seedlings out of our vegie patch - when they could have destroyed all three beds if they had been so inclined.

Grateful for having the option of a motorcycle as our mode of transportation.

The traffic along Johnson street on our way to World Vegan Day at Abbotsford Convent today, was bumper to bumper.  And the carpark was already full when we arrived half an hour after opening.  I am also grateful at the efficiency and speed a motorcycle avails us in getting from A to B.  B happening to be the Peninsula Family Health Expo.  They were both on today, both from 10am to 4pm.  Each at opposite ends of town.  Thankfully, one in our backyard.  It meant yoga was off the agenda for the day, but I can do yoga tomorrow - neither of these events will be on.  No brainer (even though my bod is aching for a good hot stretch).

The efficiency in timing between A and B meant we could luxuriate at the multitude of stalls at the vegan expo (soooooo much cool stuff and cool people *swoon*) and still make it back to the peninsula expo in time to see one of my most favourite women in the world, talk.  Nicole Bijlsma was one of my lecturers back in the day, when I was studying food and medicine.  In fact, that was the name of her module - food as medicine.  And she rocked my world from the very first class <3.

Her passion for health is so contagious.  I found a true kindred spirit, an idol to aspire to if you like.  And she's just so gorgeous.  We arrived with exactly seven minutes before her talk was scheduled to start.  I nipped into the toilets to ensure an upcoming 60 minutes of comfort.  On exiting the stall, there she was, fixing her hair - and no doubt mentally psyching herself up for her talk (it doesn't matter how many public appearances you do, you always get nervous).  I announced with an excited flourish (and no introduction) that I had just raced back from the city just to hear her talk!  She turned to look at me and stepped in to embrace me with the hugest smile on her face, talking to me as I was saying "do you remember me?"  She paused momentarily before embracing me - "Jo, right!  Miessence..."  *squeeeeeeeeeee*!

Queue two women who talk more than most, catching up on five years, with two and half minutes available.  Hilarious!  We agreed to catch up after her talk - which was AMAZING!  As always.  The woman is inspirational.  Five years ago, my husband and I almost enrolled in her college's Building Biology diploma.  Life took a different direction and we never did.  The diploma is now a more bite-sized certificate IV - and I'm passionate in this particular field of health once again.  It ties in with wholistic and preventative health intrinsically.  *sigh*

I decided to purchase her book to give myself a crash course in reigniting passion.  So don't call me tomorrow, I'll be reading.  And most likely posting snippets of goodness on the A&O fb page.  While I was hanging around, waiting for Nicole to finish her hob-nobbing, to get an autograph for my book, my eyes caught those of the magnificent, funny, beautiful Pinky McKay, who had presented just before Nicole.  I gave her the biggest smile and her face broke into a huge grin and called "now there's another crazy woman I haven't seen in ages!" She strode towards me and we met in a long embrace, talking over each other the entire hug.  It was a day of reconnecting with beautiful women I am blessed to know.  It wasn't until 15 minutes later as we were leaving the expo, when reality hit me.  I turned to Ben and said "OHMYGODPINKYMCKAYJUSTRECOGNISEDMEINACROWDANDCAMEUPTOME!"  He just looked at me and laughed.  

A wonderful day was topped off with a movie double (the second film, the movie woman charged us the concession rate - we think she liked us! Or she hit the wrong button *laugh*), broken in the middle by as close to a vegan meal as we could find in the heart of Frankston on a Sunday night.  A truly, truly wondrous day.

Nov 5th

Coconut.

A magnificent fruit!

I have recently begun a love affair.  It began when a thread discussing cooking oils took on a life of its own on the Apples and Ovaries wall.  I had never considered coconut oil as a cooking oil - I needed to learn more.  And my findings were exciting.  I started looking for it in the health food shop and at $8.00 for 300g, it was a sometimes oil for cooking.

We were blessed recently in coming across a co-op of gorgeous, certified organic oil.  And at $12 per litre (including delivery and the delightful company of Seely from Cultures Alive!), I'm almost weeping at the increased uses this price avails our family. 

I happened across the second wondrous use of this sumptuous fruit at yoga.  Coconut water.  Cool, refreshing, sweet, but not sickly.  An acquired taste for certain - but I enjoy it immensely.  And finding that incredible score of 9 fresh green coconuts in a box at CostCo, made my newest obsession all the more accessible.  I told you I bought two boxes, yes?  Well today I opened the first one.  Mental note to self: try the drill next time.  An apple corer works, yes, eventually - but there has to be a better way.  The water I emptied was so much more than I expected!  I filled a glass for use towards our coconut kefir and drank the remaining (just 'cos I could).

I opened up the outside husk (I make that sound effortless - I assure you it wasn't) to access the flesh.  It felt quite jelly-like from the small amount that was falling through the water hole.  I was so curious!  Turns out, the younger the coconut, the more water is present and the flesh is indeed a jelly-like consistency, with not much on the husk at all.  Very exciting!  I scraped it all out and planned to dry it out in the oven, then desiccate it in the thermie - using as much of the fruit as I could.  I ended up cooking it.  Better luck next time (I believe a dehydrator is on the shopping list)!

So this evening, we joined friends in blessing their new home and caught up with the lovely Seely, who had a 20L bucket of coconut oil with her.  The spooning of oil into our own jars was a beautiful ritual - it felt very communal, it was wonderful.  As were our hands at the end of the evening, as the spillages were just too delicious to wash off!

Coconut fruit - I am most grateful for your offerings in my world.

And I'm grateful for the people that make your gifts possible.

Nov 4th

Today was one of those days where the offerings of home were so much more tempting than anything a trip in the car could bring.

Goose and I rarely find we have a day just to ourselves.  We are usually out and about shopping, catching up with friends, running errands.  Even at home, there is usually a million and one things to do.  Today, all those *things* were either already done, or not pre-arranged.  And it was wonderful.

Deb, our weekly household saviour arrived as she usually does, at half eleven.  A whirlwind of blessings with a vacuum and mop.  Goose and I moved out to work in the garden, so as not to be under her feet.  By the time I had finished pruning around the spot where the car is parked, it looked as though I'd moved the car a meter forward.  I reclaimed the paving edges and cleared the weeping maple from around the bins so now we can actually open the lids without getting kissed by the leaves.

Weeds were relinquished from their comfy spots amongst the ferns, between the vegetable seedlings and around the feijoa plants.  Mulch makes this job so much easier to keep on top of - I love.  Among my weeding and clearing, I came across a long forgotten bunny - blue I believe he was once upon a time.  He reminded Goose and me of Babu - a blue bunny of this size that was dropped from her pram when we were in the produce section of the supermarket, when she was maybe 18 months old.  She didn't have too many words at that point, but Babu was one of them.  He was a much mourned for loss.  As she got older and talked about him, we said he went to live with the avocados (we did look and ask and look and ask and leave our number at the time... we really missed him ourselves... to no avail).

So when we saw this wee bunny, we had to rescue him and give him a possible new lease on life.

He's currently soaking and will go through the wash.

It would be lovely to see him renewed.

Will let you know :o)

Nov 3rd

Grateful for trust.

The trust of a small girl, in a foreign place, surrounded by strangers, knowing my plans to leave her.  Trust in me that she is safe and that I will return.

Trust of a mama bear, handing over her first born to me, as they unpack their life from boxes.  Trust that she will be cared for as my own.  Fed, nurtured, protected.

Trust of a wee girl leaping into my arms and waving her mother goodbye, as we pull out of the driveway.  Trust in her mother and in me, that she is safe in my care, in my car, in my home.

Trust in knowing the people that come into my life - for a moment, a minute or a lifetime - are they to serve my growth.  To nurture me.  To mirror me.  To challenge me.  All for my highest good.

Trust in messages of logic from the mindspace and of authenticity of the heartspace.  Trust in intuition of which to follow.

Trust in knowing without a doubt, that every decision is the right decision.

For that moment in time.  How could it not?

And knowing this makes outcomes seem less scary, less concerning.

Because regardless of whether a decision has an outcome filled with joy or an outcome filled with pain, it was the outcome that needed to happen for that moment in time.

Trust in knowing I have the internal resources and external connections to work me through anything placed in my path.

Trust in knowing that everything is as it's meant to be.

Relieves the pressure something wonderful.

Nov 2nd

Incense burning.

Candles flickering.

Soul wide open.

Asking.  Giving.  Waiting.

Sometimes relationships are not as straight forward as we'd like them to be.

They seem simple enough, clear enough on the surface, but something niggles.

Murkiness appears from time to time.  Is it imagined?  Hard to know.

Frustrating.

Complacency exhausted.  Courage summoned.

Time to discover.

An opportunity presented - time for truth.  A get-out-of-bullshit-free card.

Probing?  Deflection?  Defensiveness?  Really?

So not how I thought this would go.

Relinquishing expectations.

Acknowledging differing perceptions.

Accepting the end may be here.

Letting go.

Feeling light.

The last in a line of unexplored inauthentic relationships.

One too wistful to face, for fear of the worst outcome manifesting.

Like I always say to others and ask of myself - what's the worst that can happen?

You lose another ego from your world, too well preserved and protected to embrace vulnerability.

That's not so bad?

But no, that's not the worst thing.

The worst thing is mourning the loss of what was and would could have been.

That is most definitely sad.

Nov 1st

Well, here we are!

My birthday month.  Where it all began, 330 odd days ago.

I do so love my birthday month.  I have a firm belief that once you reach a certain age (arbitrary, decide for yourself, really), your birthday celebrations demand to be spread out over the course of a month, rather than just the one day.  I think I was about 21 when they started lasting a week (I think that was in part due to the time taken to prepare the party).  Then, in the years that followed when I lived a long way from home, I would have two celebrations - one with friends and one with family - with each gathering separated by about a week or two.

Now, now I'm just plain greedy.  They've lasted about a month or so for a while now.  I have officially claimed November for myself.  In defiance against the Giftmas decorations and promotion that starts about now.  I can't quite see how they can be even talking about Giftmas yet, when quite clearly my birthday is an occasion just as large and festive and it comes before Giftmas on the Gregorian calendar.

Still, I'm known for my generosity, so I'm happy to share November with all who also want to celebrate over the best 30 days of the year.  It really is a rockin' awesome month.  Lots of Scorpios and Sagittarians were born in this month and that's a fabulous thing in itself.  Were you?

A lovely relaxing day.

Horribly hard yoga session, but we won't linger there.  I survived and that's not to be sneezed at (what does that saying even mean?!).  Then wonderful friends dropped off the compost tumbler I was talking about yesterday!  How generous is that!  Very grateful for the gift of their time and effort.  A little bit of work on the business, lots of talk about environmental and health politics of veganism and whether we can make it happen in our world, followed by an evening of snuggling with tea, choc and tickytacky (that's what we call the show Weeds we're enjoying at the moment).

What are you grateful for, today?

Oct 31st

I experienced Costco tonight!

*laugh*

Oh, what an adventure!  It started out with much jest and hilarity at the anti-consumerist nutritional therapist venturing into the world of super-sized US capitalism right here in our back yard.  I was assured a bag of spinach would be found for me as soon as possible, for me to cuddle and sniff on my way round the never-ending aisles of three-storey high shelves of consumerist eroticism.

I giggled at the size of the trolleys - but even before that, I marveled at the breadth of the lift that took us from the carpark to the store!  I wish I'd taken a pic.  I felt pint-sized! (Moreso than usual.)  We, a friend with our ticket in (you have to be a member, or come as a guest with a member) and another Costco junkie friend, had a wonderful time!  It was a fantastic shopping experience.  Wide aisles.  Busy, but not crowded and all the shoppers were relaxed and happy (perhaps because they couldn't stop giggling at the vastness of everything, too.  Although it was most likely due to the savings they were making).  And the checkout staff member (Sarah) was so pleasant, I almost embraced her!  So relaxed, so calm, so happy to help.  A pure pleasure.

Yes, they really do stock everything from diamonds to sewing machines, okra to tahini (although not ponies it must be noted).  And yes, everything is absolutely super-sized.  The variety was wonderful, the obscure items plentiful and the amount of local and organic produce was much more than I expected.  I'm a convert, 100%.  Just the opportunity to purchase refrigerated drinking coconuts (husks removed) by the box was enough to have me on a high for the rest of the shop (spinach - who needs spinach?!).  I'll be back for the kayak and the compost tumbler another day. 

As I watched my beautiful friend, a single mama of two buttons living on a shoestring, walking with us, comparing prices per unit to the items in the store she usually shops at (pre-printed on two A4 sheets), I felt incredibly grateful to live in a town where quality products are available at prices that make living on not a lot, a whole lot easier.  I think of my own mama who raised three buttons on not a lot, in a small town with little choice and wonder how excited and grateful she may have felt at the choices laid before us tonight.

This woman is openly humbled by her prejudgement and scorn.  Wonderful, wonderful reminder to make up your own mind based on your own experience - and not on something you assume to be the case *smile*.  And you know what - not one Halloween prop could be seen ANYWHERE!

Which reminds me - Happy Beltaine!

(Image credit)

Boomshanka to all in the business of baby-making.

"May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman"

Blessings to all, from down under.

xxx

Oct 30th

A had a wonderful day, today!

Lots of little things bringing me joy, all culminating into a day that left me flopping into bed with a smile on my face.

A big kiss goodbye from my gorgeous girl as I dropped her to her Dads.

A quiet drive to the studio, content in my own company, deep in my thoughts.  An opportunity to play over a scenario and contemplate if there was another way it could have been approached.

A powerful, strong practice amongst an intimate group of seasoned yogis, with one of my favourite teachers.  Being told my practice today was "inspiring" by said teacher!  And receiving much gushing gratitude from a newbie that stood behind me, after completing her first class, thankful for having someone to watch.

Home to a fully cooked breakfast, a freshly made vegie juice (with beetroot, my favourite), a hot cup of roasted bean goodness and a gorgeous man, all rested and rejuvenated from his quiet morning time alone.

Two hours helping out friends with tiny buttons, packing up three rooms of their home in preparation for their move next week - and all the chatting and laughing that ensues when people who adore each other gather together.

An evening out with my beloved - woodfired pizza and a bottle of wine, followed by a movie at the perfectly reasonable time of 6:45pm.  I do so love it when movies start early.  Leaving a lovely patch of the evening free for zooming home to enjoy tea and sweet goodness in bed, melting into the blankets in front of our favourite show for an hour or two.

Just blissful.

Oct 29th

I am immensely grateful for Ben, today.

He offered to mind my child for three hours, while I attended practice.

Today was a master class.  Taught by Lynn Whitlow.  Lynn is the shiz in the Bikram world.  Hailing from California, Lynn has taught yoga her entire adult life.  She is one of the few people authorized by Bikram to teach seminars and workshops.  We were VERY blessed to have her at our humble studio <3.

The class was scheduled for two hours - an additional half hour on top of usual.  I think it went for close to two and a half.  It's the first time I have stumbled out of the studio and been literally unable to form words.  I could barely make eye contact with anyone, I was so overwhelmed by the experience.  Overwhelmed, as in ohmygodI'mconvincedIwasabouttodie.  In my semi-coherent state, I noticed I wasn't the only one. Often we will come out of a difficult class and sit around re-acclimatising, bonding about how difficult the class was.  Today, we could barely talk. 

I am also immensely grateful for one of my fellow students, for finding her legs and bringing around the bowl of orange segments.  I was willing those things to appear in my hands so bad.  It had been about five minutes and I still couldn't find my legs.  It was the sugar hit I needed in order to get myself to the drinks fridge and replenish my electrolytes with coconut water.  From there, I was good to go.

Despite the almost dying business and wondering what the hell I was doing there and why is it that I love this practice so much, I did take away some valuable insights into the postures.  And of course, I didn't die (as Lynn pointed out as I embraced her and thanked her on leaving this afternoon).  I even mustered the energy to go twirlin' with my pyro community tonight.

I'm feeling pretty exhausted now.

Just enjoying a cup of tea and setting up my brand new water kefir grains to ferment before going to bed.  Now THAT is a crazy, freaky new adventure I'm excited to be embarking upon!  Purchased through Cultures Alive!  I have no idea what I'm doing.  But I have info sheets, Google and my good friends that have been there - done that, so I figure I can't go too far wrong.

Sleep is calling... night gorgeous ones xxx

Oct 28th

 I saw this today and I liked it immediately!

On another look, I've just noticed the raindrops.  I think this is a wonderful poster for the fridge, bedside table, cereal packet, coffee machine... Reminders are perfect wee nudges for maintaining presence.  I especially like the raindrops.  Because it's often on the days of gloominess that we forget how blessed we are to have this day.

It poured and poured this afternoon.  Thunderstorms and lightning.  I was utterly grateful that I didn't need to pour chlorinated, fluoridated water all over my growing seedlings.  That instead, (mostly) unadulterated water from the sky replenished the moisture requirements of my kitchen garden.

I was also grateful for the rain for clearing the air.  I am guessing the pollen rating was off the charts today, as my eyes itched, my nose ran and the sneezing was pretty much non-stop.  The cleansing of the air was a welcome reprieve.  Not to mention the energetic charge in the air with upcoming storms!  There's something about it that makes me want to dance skyclad under the falling droplets, particularly when the air is as warm as it was today.  So, so cleansing and refreshing.

A thoughtful and gorgeous friend posted a link to a blog today.

Must share:  http://www.brenebrown.com/badge

This page is one aspect of her online world.  I haven't yet explored the whole site, but I will!  Her outlook is marvelous!  So much along my line of operation.  It immediately hit me that this could be a focus of my next blogging crusade - my adventures in a life of authenticity.  This blog has touched on them, but not in any real depth and not as a focus, more incidental mentioning.  If I'm 100% honest, I just want an excuse to use the badges!  How awesome are they?!

I'm utterly, 100% a fake-it-til-you-make-it kinda woman.

It's how I get anywhere.  It all began when I was introduced to the concept of manifestation - work out exactly what it is you want, then act, think and talk like you already have it.  Soon enough, you will.  So, I work out what I want and I fake it.  And it works.  I can list people, things, journeys and headspaces that I have wanted and obtained, through manifestation.  

So, authenticity.  Loving unconditionally.  Not such easy tasks.  But they don't just happen overnight.  They happen with focus, with intention, with practice.  A blog helps all of those things happen.  You're thinking about it, you're talking about it, you're manifesting it.  I liked what Brene had to say here:

"Choosing authenticity is an act of resistance.  Choosing to live and love with our WholeHearts is an act of defiance.  You’re going to confuse, piss-off and terrify lots of people – including yourself.  One minute you'll pray that the transformation ends, and the next minute you’ll pray that it never ends."

Two friends have mentioned they are thinking along the same lines, blogging a similar journey.  Which is fantastic.  Brene had this to say "We need to be surrounded by other authenticity activists who are willing to be imperfect and real. We need to build a community of people who can straddle the truth that we are both afraid and brave (often at the same time)."  I love this.  And it's very true.  My friends are very brave to have me in their worlds.  I embrace and welcome being called on my shit.  That doesn't go for everyone.  And yet, by default of allowing me in their worlds, they are faced with my expectations of authenticity.  I think it's a testament to the strength, the courage, the openness to growth that each of them possess.  And I adore each and every one of them for it.