Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Nov 2nd

Incense burning.
Candles flickering.
Soul wide open.

Asking.  Giving.  Waiting.
Sometimes relationships are not as straight forward as we'd like them to be.
They seem simple enough, clear enough on the surface, but something niggles.
Murkiness appears from time to time.  Is it imagined?  Hard to know.

Complacency exhausted.  Courage summoned.
Time to discover.
An opportunity presented - time for truth.  A get-out-of-bullshit-free card.
Probing?  Deflection?  Defensiveness?  Really?
So not how I thought this would go.

Relinquishing expectations.
Acknowledging differing perceptions.
Accepting the end may be here.
Letting go.

Feeling light.
The last in a line of unexplored inauthentic relationships.
One too wistful to face, for fear of the worst outcome manifesting.
Like I always say to others and ask of myself - what's the worst that can happen?
You lose another ego from your world, too well preserved and protected to embrace vulnerability.
That's not so bad?

But no, that's not the worst thing.
The worst thing is mourning the loss of what was and would could have been.
That is most definitely sad.

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