Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Feb 23rd

A trip to the country!
And what a magnificent day for it!

Actually, I must admit, as we were driving through the idyllic countryside, with blue skies above and green, green grass racing past, the smell of the sweet air filling the car, I did say to Ben "Jeez, I wish it was raining and overcast!  Then I might not be falling so much in love with this area"

We decided, if we really are serious about fulfilling our dream, we better see how it tastes and feels.  We had made an appointment with an agent to visit one of the properties we liked the look of online a few days ago, and today was the day to visit.  The agent was 35 minutes late, which gave us some wonderful time alone to wander the land and fantasize.  Our imagination ran wild.

The property and location ticked all boxes bar one:
Minimum land size of 5 acres.
Gentle slope.
Water source.
North facing.
Small dwelling.
Within our budget. 
Good available house position.
Mix of cleared land and wooded bush.
Within traveling distance to current paid employment.
Short distance to town.
Good rainfall.
 Soil - not clay or sand.
Access to immediate community (of our particular flavour).

The box it didn't tick was:
No train access within a 10 minute drive.  To get to the train traveling into Melbourne, is a 35 minute drive.  And no, that doesn't seem *that* much - but when your five year old child has already spent nearly 2 hours on a train to reach her second home....  You know when you get to the end of the train ride, you just wanna be there!  Not spend another half an hour in the car.  You know?

The other reason the train is so important, is because train traveling time can be quality time together.  We can chat, read, play.  I can focus on her - rather than on the road.  And the train ride in to pick her up will be a fabulous time to read or work.  Then, when she's older (if still living with her Dad), she will be able to make the trip on her own.  Yes, I've thought a lot about this *smile*.

Lucy is the number one reason I haven't made this move happen before now.  I couldn't get my head around the shared care logistics, living so far away.  It seemed like a choice between living the lifestyle I have dreamed of for many years or regular time with my child.

I have spent quite a few hours recently, talking and talking and talking about this very issue.  As the way it goes, talking has helped clarify and delineate the problem and as a result, yielded solutions to consider.  The one thing all this talking has done, is shown me the impact my heart feels when I spend time pondering these plans.  Gosh.  If I were in any doubt the place my heart yearns for, I don't any longer.

There is of course, more than just easy visits with Lucy I will be relinquishing.  It's easy visits with my women here that I will also be sacrificing - and that hurts like a bastard.  The community I am a part of here is so wonderful.  The sisterhood is so strong.  Leaving this circle was the other very large prohibiting factor in making this decision.

But if there is one thing I know, that is there is no guarantee the people around you will forever stay around you.  Jobs are offered, relationships change, opportunities arise.  And if you ignore your heart's calling, you may find one day you will live to regret taking the risk.  The risk of the heart is the hardest of all.

So, we decided to kiss this property goodbye and will be meeting two new properties this Saturday.
At first glimpse, they do not appear to tick all the boxes listed above, but they are within 10 minutes drive of the train line and that's a good start *smile*.

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