Grateful for a special genre of friendship.
Today I visited a dear, beautiful, gorgeous friend. She lives on the other side of town - literally (like, I have to drive in the car for an hour, cross a bridge AND a city to get there), so it's no easy feat for us to catch up. Especially for her, just at the moment. Because you see, just over two weeks ago, she birthed her third son. And like most women, I'm a fly to honey when it comes to brand new squishy babes and their still-high-on-oxytocin mamas *grin*.
This woman and I share a history that goes back over eleven years, before my child, before her father even! We met at work when I was a crazy young Kiwi on a fly-through visit. I was placed in her team and it wasn't long before we discovered we not only shared the same crazy sign of the zodiac (Sagittarius, in case you needed confirmation), we also shared the same birthday. Instant rapport! In the same way two men who turn up to a party wearing the same shirt become instant friends - the same is true for Sagittarians. We adore each other. We know ourselves to be fabulous, so it must automatically be true of another born under the same sign.
My fly-through visit plans changed when I fell head-over-heels in love with my daughter's father and I began to develop some depth to budding friendships. T and I married our lovers in the same year and both rushed headfirst into the excitement and craziness of making babies. It was this life phase that took our friendship to the next level of intimacy. Cycle after cycle after cycle we treasured our sisterhood as we lamented our inability to conceive, and shared mutual strength, heartache and hope.
Our lives took on different directions when my husband and I embarked on a two year sabbatical in my country of birth. Even on our return to Australia, our paths didn't cross again until Facebook threw us back into each other's lives two or so years ago.
As I was visiting T today, standing in her kitchen, completely at home in a home I haven't visited in nine years, making us lunch, rifling through the cupboards and pantry finding plates, making us tea... her sitting, resting, chatting as I busied myself in her domain, it struck me how amazing this friendship is. How special this friendship is to me. How much I value this woman in my life. It's not often a friendship between two women can span such a length of time, have such an huge absence in the middle and still have such a wonderful, intimate connection that picked up where it left off (and be more connected, if that's possible).
I have seen enough moons in my life to know the difference between a true friendship and an association. A friendship for me, is one of honesty. Of reality. Of emotional authenticity. Of trust in vulnerability. Of kindness. Of laughter. Of unconditional love. They are not easy to find. Even when you think you've found one, hardship for one or the other can prove otherwise. I care for many, but I open my heart to few. And T is most certainly one of the few.
If you're reading this, thank you beautiful woman. For your friendship. For our connection. And for scrumptious cuddles today with your squishy, divine boy *melt*. And just while I think of it, if you like, wash your breast in warm water, then pop it in the dryer. If it doesn't shrink to size, I'll whip up another one for you both, better sized for his head *grin*