Thursday, September 29, 2011

Sept 29th

So I'm done.
30 practices in 29 days.
I totally rock.
HUGE gratuity kudos for Ben and Lucy, for supporting me in making this happen.

It's quite possible I may be conquering my fear of commitment.  Well, if I don't put it out there, I can't very well make moves towards the reality, now can I?  Fake it til you make it and all that.  I'm not a stubborn person.  I don't tend to have a pig-headedness about anything.  I'm the kind of person that gets incredibly excited about a new idea, rush into it all cylinders firing, only to get bored, lament the loss of free time I had before and promptly discard my new activity for something else.  Or nothing at all.  With zero feelings of guilt, regret or failure.  I just decide I don't want to do it anymore and that's that.

Now, I know a lot of people that are absolutely cringing reading that statement.  How can I NOT finish something?!  Don't I feel something is missing?  Don't I lie awake at night, bothered by it?  Nope.  Easy come, easy go, really.  It did start to bother me in the last few years.  Not so much that I don't stick with anything - I don't believe in flogging a dying horse, or going down with the ship.  Let the horse die peacefully and abandon that sinking vessel while you still can!  Moreso, I was concerned that I didn't have what it *takes* to complete something.  Sticktoitiveness.  Did I quit when things didn't seem to be going anywhere, or when I lost my passion - or did I quit when things got hard?  I wasn't sure and exploring the idea scared the beezeejus out of me.  But I had to know.

When I decided to do the challenge, I just wanted to commit to trying to complete the 30 days.  I knew care arrangements had the potential to make things tricky, so I was prepared to relinquish a day if logistics were the reason.  But that only reason aside, I wanted to commit to going - ill, tired, bloated, fatigued, scared, frazzled - or not.  Once I put it out there (wrote my name on the board, told two teachers and posted my intention here), things started falling into place.  When I talked to my beloved, he offered to mind Lucy on days he could, so I could practice.  And before I knew it, every single day offered a class at a time that worked in with my life.

So, it quickly moved from intending to try, to actually doing the bloody thing.
And here we are.  With only one real moment of "I sooooo don't wanna go today".  I think I actually willed time to stand still so I could sleep for another ten minutes that morning.  Turns out I do have what it takes to finish something.  And I'm quite pleased about that.  It was a pretty good endurance test, of both the physical, mental and emotional kind.  And spiritual some would argue.  But I have no idea how to go about that part intentionally through yoga, so I'm not sure I can count it (although it most likely is happening without my conscious awareness *grin*).

I've been playing with the idea of packing the wine glass away for the month of October.  This challenge seems a little scarier than yoga for 30 days, to be honest.  But again, I want to know if I can.  So, I think I will *smile*.  Fancy joining me?

In other news, had a total cute overload today.
My studio put on a school holidays class for kids.  One set of most postures, no heat.
Minimum age was 6.  The studio owner, Jacquie met Lucy and fell in love with her, after Lucy pulled her best downward dog.  So she was given a place *grin*.  

She was so tiny next to the other nine mini yogis.  But her determination, her focus and her concentration in her practice melted my heart.  I pushed back the tears a couple of times.  I was lucky to be able to capture shots, so I'll leave you with a couple.  So much cute.

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