Today marked the first psychological hurdle of my 30 day yoga challenge.
So, in true 'Moi' style, I upped the ante. Cos you know, it's not enough to have one thing to push you outside of your comfort zone. Go big!
I have never practiced for more than four days in a row. Today marked day five. I don't know what I thought would happen - my arms would fall off? Ridiculous really, but the mind is a powerful thing. And I am very aware of the beastly influence it has over me from time to time. So, I anticipated the fear, felt the fear as it came and did it anyway.
I also took off my shirt.
We all have at least one part of our bodies, no? That we keep just for us and for our lovers? Mine is my belly. It was the last part of my body that I grew to love. My body love has been years, YEARS! in the maturing. I spent much energy as a child and teenager desperately unhappy with many aspects of my body - from my split ends and short neck, to my knobbly knees and overlapping toes. I don't remember what marked the change in perspective. Many little things over the years, I guess. Finally working out that I freakin' rock and that I'm loveable and absolutely perfect just as I am - but when that happened, I'm not sure. Body love for me is pretty much a sorted situation. I don't hate any part of my body, because I'm too utterly grateful for all the things it does for me, to hate it. But my relationship with my belly and the world, is one filled with shyness.
So, to take off my shirt in yoga and practice in a crop top and hot pants, is a big deal for me. But I did and of course, it was fine. It was great actually. I got to see my hips clearer, which helps when you're trying to centre them up in the mirror.
It was a hard class. They usually are.
But five days achieved. And that's just ace.